The Mets came home to fertile Shea after a 4-2 road trip and brought a new manager with them. They took on the last-place Seattle Mariners, who have a new manager of their own. This longtime rivalry has been filled with many, many great moments. Of course there was the time when David Wright and Aaron Heilman went to get Chinese food together after a loss to Seattle in 2005. And who could ever forget when Tsuyoshi Shinjo came into a game as a late-inning defensive replacement back in June 2003? I still have my commemorative mug marking that occasion.

Monday, Mariners 5-2: King Kong’d

King Felix Hernandez closed his eyes and hit the first grand slam by an American League pitcher since 1971 (sorry Shinjo, you’ve been replaced in Mets-Mariners lore). And he was cruising through the first four-and-two-thirds innings until he was spiked by Carlos Beltran when he covered home plate on a wild pitch. With the way he was throwing, that’s the only way the Mets were going to get him out of the game. But Seattle’s beleaguered bullpen kept the Mets bats quiet for the rest of the game. They threatened in the ninth against Sean “Not Shawn” Green but fell three runs short. Johan Santana went seven innings, allowing five runs (one earned). And David Wright is tired. He made an error leading to the grand slam, hit into a double play and went 0-3. He needs a nap.

Tuesday, Mariners 11-0: Oliver Perez Is Abominable

The Mets couldn’t pitch. They couldn’t hit. They couldn’t field. It would be hard to play a worse game than this. The awful Oliver Perez did it again―five innings pitched and six runs (five earned). As he’s done many times before, he gave his team no chance to win. After the game, Jerry Manuel made no guarantees that Perez would remain in the rotation. Claudio Vargas followed the frustrating lefty and threw more gasoline on the fire. As he was releasing his last pitch, he was sent down to the minors. Mariners pitcher R.A. Dickey knuckleballed the Mets offense into submission, which, let’s face it, isn’t that hard to do. And home-plate umpire Brian Runge disgraced himself by first baiting Carlos Beltran and then bumping Manuel. He kicked both Mets out of the game, when he should have been the one to go (Runge did apologize to Manuel yesterday). The blowout got so bad that Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez resorted to telling stories about their dogs.

Wednesday, Mets 8-2: David Wright Is Rested

After his first game off of the year, David Wright blasted home runs in his first two at-bats. Jose Reyes added a three-run bomb and the romp was on. The Mets were actually out-hit by Seattle, 6-5, and scored all of their runs in the first three innings. John Maine lasted six innings, giving up two runs on five hits, striking out three and walking two. He now leads the team in wins, with a record of 8-5. Aaron Heilman, Joe Smith and Duaner Sanchez each pitched a scoreless inning. The Mets came into the homestand hoping they could stomp on the lowly Mariners and get a fresh start with their new manager. The first two games were terrible loses, and then had an easy win last night. So the question is: Which team is the Mets? The 11-0 nightmare? Or the 8-2 dream? Next up: Four games with the Yankees.