So I heard a report on ESPN this morning that Daunte Culpepper was supposed to meet with the Chiefs yesterday to finalize an agreement to play and sign a contract. Instead, Culpepper rejected the offer because he has “a better opportunity with another team.” The first thing that came to my mind was an image of Terrell Owens whining so much that Jerry Jones caved in and gave Culpepper a call. You heard it here first, Culpepper to the Cowboys with the promise of reliving his golden years when he used to just huck the ball 50 yards at a time to Randy Moss.
At least that’s what Owens, Jones, and Culpepper are imagining.
Here’s what I’m imagining. Culpepper arrives in Dallas to much fanfare where he quickly learns that his undisciplined style can totally fly as long as he wins and Romo stays hurt. The way he sees it, he’ll win a few games, get some contract leverage in the process, and then ride the bench all the way to the Super Bowl. Is this reality? Of course not, it’s the Dallas Cowboys. More like a circus that wins football games. America’s most rooted against team (just my guess). What would happen if after two weeks of Culpepper, Romo comes back and is shakey due to his newly healed pinkie? Would Terrrel Owens start yelling for Culpepper to get back under center? Would Romo start throwing everything to Roy Williams? Maybe Culpepper starts throwing to Williams more than TO who then unleashes another temper tantrum? Maybe Owens will challenge the entire team to fight in the locker room, just like he did in Philadelphia, but this time Culpepper kicks his ass because he’s got no contract next year and punching Owens in the mouth is good publicity. Culpepper’s a huge dude- I’d put 20 bucks on him toe to toe with TO.
It turns out that Culpepper worked out with the Detroit Lions yesterday afternoon. This is the same day he turns down the Chiefs and says he has a “better oppurtunity with another team.” The “better oppurtunity” is the D-troit Lions? How is Daunte Culpepper going to accomplish anything with those guys? The Lions are 0-7. Even if he comes in and wins 5 games, which he won’t, that pales in comparison with the promise of riding the bench to a Super Bowl ring and, most importantly, punching Terrel Owens in his underwear.