Hardcore Mets fans, you might want to avert your eyes. Everybody else, this is something you should check out.

This here is my buddy’s log book of every game the Phillies played in 2008 season summarized in one sentence or at least something that almost resembles a sentence.  I had no idea that this artifact even existed until after the Phils won game 5.  The dude was going nuts high fiving, drinking champagne out of a bottle, taking pictures with a dead stingray (seriously), and then he remembered his log.  Turns out he watched every game last season, which is an achievement in itself, then he wrote down what happened.  Maybe a little strange? Certainly.  Now that the Phillies are the “2008 World Champions of Baseball” this logbook is something he’s going to hang on to forever and show his grand kids. Hey, it’s Philladelphia-  I wouldn’t be surprised if this thing ended up in a museum.

There is definitely some Philly fan-code going on here….

So I heard a report on ESPN this morning that Daunte Culpepper was supposed to meet with the Chiefs yesterday to finalize an agreement to play and sign a contract.  Instead, Culpepper rejected the offer because he has “a better opportunity with another team.”  The first thing that came to my mind was an image of Terrell Owens whining so much that Jerry Jones caved in and gave Culpepper a call. You heard it here first, Culpepper to the Cowboys with the promise of reliving his golden years when he used to just huck the ball 50 yards at a time to Randy Moss.

At least that’s what Owens, Jones, and Culpepper are imagining.

Here’s what I’m imagining.  Culpepper arrives in Dallas to much fanfare where he quickly learns that his undisciplined style can totally fly as long as he wins and Romo stays hurt.  The way he sees it, he’ll win a few games, get some contract leverage in the process, and then ride the bench all …

U-G-L-Y- You ain’t got no Alibi!  You Ugly! You Ugly!  Yo Mama Say You Ugly! You Ugly!  You Ugly!

Sometimes a picture just says it all.  Like this one.  It says, “I…. can’t…. breathe….Put… me… down….”  Fitting that this is what Favre gets after throwing a game winning touchdown.  Somehow the Jets emerged victorious Sunday but it was very ugly. “How ugly was it,” you ask?

That win was sooo ugly its shadow quit.

That win was sooo ugly it made Frankenstein’s dog go “Dang.”

That win was sooo ugly, Rice Crispies won’t even talk to it.

That win was sooo ugly it reminded me of Taco Bell-  When people saw it they ran for the border.

That win was sooo ugly it got 7 years of bad luck just for trying to look in the mirror.

That win was soooo ugly, it looked like she was bobbing for french fries.  So, that one didn’t make much sense but if you put the ‘Yo mama” part back in I think it creates quite …

Momentum
1: a property of a moving body that the body has by virtue of its mass and motion and that is equal to the product of the body’s mass and velocity; broadly : a property of a moving body that determines the length of time required to bring it to rest when under the action of a constant force
or
2: strength or force gained by motion or through the development of events : impetus

“The campaign gained momentum.”

Sports are all about momentum.  Which team has it and which team has lost it.  Look at definition #2 above and now look at our lowly Jets.  Events have developed in such a manner that it seems just by taking the field the Jets are giving the opposing team momentum.  Favre’s first play against the Bengels?  Here’s the ball (fumble) and go score a touchdown.  Our first drive against the Patriots?  Missed chip shot.  Our first against the Cardinals?  offsides on the defense-NOT and another “here’s the ball, go score a …

There are two different grades of sandpaper: commercial and industrial.  You can buy the commercial grade at your local hardware store.  The industrial strength, which is what we’re going to need here, is going to have to be ordered.  Once you’ve done that, I’d say a really coarse grit like 40, go ahead and sand down the top part of your thighs.  If you’ve done it right there should be a little blood and every time you walk for the next week or so there will be a sharp stinging sensation.  If you’re not into torturing yourself in such a prolonged manner, just watch a replay of the Jets game at Oakland.  I’m warning you in advance, industrial strength sandpaper’s got nothing on the Jets.  That s#@t was rough yo.

When the offense came out in a spread formation it was not only novel, it was effective.  We moved the ball down the field, yes, but it seemed that in order for Favre to deliver the ball …

Brett Favre has a very short memory and that’s a good thing. Otherwise, his fumble recovered for a touchdown and his 2 interceptions might have prevented him from slinging the ball with confidence. After throwing 6 touchdowns in his last game, the Bengal’s defense looked like their preparation focused on stopping Favre’s passing attack. Why the Jets didn’t have a monster day rushing the ball  I don’t know but Thomas Jones handled the scoring responsibilities anyway. His three touchdowns were the most he’s ever scored in a game and were enough to keep the Carson Palmerless Bengals winless.

There were new pages from the Jet’s offensive playbook on display Sunday- swing passes, reverses, screens. Mangini might have been treating the Bengals game as a scrimmage so he can run new plays against a live defense. For the most part, Favre’s down field attack stayed on the sideline while his short passes and hand-offs kept the game clock moving. The fewer …

Last week, the day after the Jets dropped 56 points on the Cardinals, I received a text message from a fellow fan.  He had read somewhere that the Jets would be wearing the throwback Titans jerseys when the Jets come back from the bye against the Bengals and he was furious.  Jets fans, as I’ve said before, are similar to abused puppies.  This is a perfect example. One whole day had passed since Favre threw a career high 6 touchdowns as a Jet (in a Titans jersey) and people had already found something to worry about.  In my head, we had won right?  Let’s just make sure we win again.   Who cares if our Jersey’s are outdated and look like NCIA Division-2 wear? As long as we’re flaring Green and White in the Super Bowl I’m happy.

I proceeded to scour the internet for some official Jet announcement regarding the colors they would wear and came up empty handed.  What I did find was lots of people …

I’ll admit it.  I miss Brett Favre.  Heaven forbid he take one week off and I’m lost.  Sunday rolls around, I wake up, eat some bacon, read the paper, and look at my Jerricho Cotchery jersey with longing.  It will not be on display today.  It will remain in the closet  The Jets bye week is here.  I am sad but I should rejoice for Eric Mangini loves the bye.  He’s undefeated in games following a weekend off (ok, so it’s only 2 but still…).

Last season the Jets bye came in week 10.  We were parked at an incredible 1-8 and the Steelers (with a 7-3 record)  rolled into the Meadowlands along with a seeming 70,000 Pittsburgh fans.  The Jets had looked like pure dog crap all season and Ben Rothlisberger was expected to rip us apart in a game the Steelers needed to help secure playoff position.  In most people’s minds the Jets had already lost.  Thomas Jones ended up rushing for 117 yards and …

Al Davis is well known for being a difficult man to work for.  He’s passionate about his Oakland Raiders and he expects them to win.  When they don’t, he usually takes it out on his coach in a very public fashion.  Now you can add Lane Kiffen to the list of coaches Davis ran out of town.  To be honest, that list isn’t a bad place to be for a young coach.  He’s in great company- Mike Shannahan, Art Shell, Norv Turner, Bill Callahan, and Jon Gruden all had issues working for Al Davis.  I’m thinking that when Davis hates his coach it’s a good thing.  The truth is he doesn’t really want a coach, Al hires personal assistants and that doesn’t sit well with most men who are trying to put together a good football team.

When I saw Davis on TV bashing Lane Kiffen in such an unprofessional manner I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.  I mean Al Davis, not Kiffen.  Kiffen might …

It’s so much more fun to watch the Jets when they’re winning by 34 points.  Finally it seemed the ball was bouncing our way.  And it just kept on bouncing.  The Cardinals had 11 penalties and seven turnovers.  Favre set his career high for touchdown passes in a game not wearing a Packer’s jersey nor a Jet’s jersey but in a freakin’ Titan’s blue and gold throwback. Who’d a thunk that one.  I can’t remember the Jets ever putting up 56 points.  Can you?  We could have outscored the Knicks yesterday.

Kurt Warner should change his name to Cough Warner after yesterday’s game.  The Jets were forcing fumbles and getting interceptions almost every drive in the first half. The Cardinals first drive was actually very forbidding.  Warner looked great and was picking our defense apart.  When he fumbled the ball I was so relieved only to see the Cardinals recover.  Then the Cardinals fumbled again.  And then again.  And then he threw an interception.  And then another …

We’re just three weeks into the season and I’ve already seen way too many “must wins.” I’ve also spent too much time worrying about our kicking situation(s).  Arizona’s rolling into the Meadowlands Sunday and they’re bringing two outstanding recievers, Edgerin James, and their own elder statesman.  I think the Jets can lose six games this season.  Using one of those losses against the Cardinals would be a disaster.  Before the season started, when I looked at the Jets schedule week 4 marked the beginning of a stretch of games the Jets should win.  Now that it’s here I’m not so confident.

It blows my mind that Kurt Warner is playing as well as he is.  The dude has a QB rating of 111.7 (Favre’s is 98 by comparison).  Warner has thrown 6 touchdowns with 1 interception and the thought of his receivers unleashed upon the Jets secondary is frightening.  Maybe it’s because of that Chris Chamber’s touchdown last week or maybe it’s because Anquan Boldin and Larry …

Once again, being a Jets fan this week was an excruciatingly painful experience.

Growing pains were to be expected when the Jets went and got Brett Favre.  They were on display for the entire country to see last night.  It looked like in the aftermath of last week’s goal line debacle the Jets opened up the playbook.  Problem is, they all opened it up to different pages.  Favre was throwing balls to empty patches of field turf or to the Charger’s defense instead of to our wide receivers.  There were three turnovers in the first half.  There was also that undeniably stupid onsides kick attempt. Ugly.  Painful to watch. Had we recovered the onside attempt it would have been a great call.  But we didn’t.  So it must be looked upon as a bonehead call.

Despite the turnovers and the questionable calls, it’s the play of our defense that has me worried.  David Barrett made a great interception that he turned into a touchdown.  For a minute I …