Devils Rumors & News


Friday, January 22nd, 2010
Devils Rumors & NewsIslanders Rumors & News

I’m not a Jets fan, but Rex Ryan has everyone in this city so inspired and pumped up, even I’d run through a wall for him. In fact, I tried to do just that. Unfortunately, I slipped on a bag of Funyuns and flew through the plate-glass window in my living room. Now I have cuts and bruises all over my face and body, one of my ears was sliced off, my wife is furious at me and it’s really, really cold in our living room. Ryan’s infectious motivating style is being packaged into a new self-help, confidence-building program, with books and DVDS – The Rex Ryan Method: Swaggering, Boasting and Eating Your Way to a Newer, More Confident You. Here are his three top keys to turning yourself into a more successful person:

       1. Declare yourself the favorite in any situation; and then make yourself a nice, big sandwich.

       2. Declare that you will be invited to the White House and meet the President; he will …

Friday, January 15th, 2010
Devils Rumors & NewsIslanders Rumors & News

Confidence. The Jets have it. In fact, the Jets are so confident after whooping Cincinnati’s butt on Saturday, that Rex Ryan feels his team should not only be the favorite in the Super Bowl but also in the NBA playoffs. The first-year coach has his players believing that they can accomplish anything. He’s dispatched Dustin Keller to solve the Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien conundrum. The offensive line is drafting a health-care bill that will make everyone happy. And Bart Scott will be stepping in to replace Simon Cowell on American Idol. To paraphrase Yogi Berra: Sports are 90% mental, the other half is physical. And the Jets are not having any problems with the mental aspect of the game right now (nor the physical side either). Some feel there may be a little too much braggadocio in Jet land, but so far it’s working. Sitting at the other end of the confidence meter is the Nets. They do nothing but lose, and can’t even sniff a victory. Do …

Friday, January 8th, 2010
Devils Rumors & NewsGiants Rumors & News

We’re only one week into 2010 and I’m already dropping the ball on my resolutions. In the past I’ve been more successful, such as the year I resolved to quit smoking cigarettes. I used one of those quit-smoking programs, with the patches and the gum and the whole nine yards. Unfortunately, the side effects included nausea, dizziness, vomiting, disorientation, hallucinations, agitation, hostility, amnesia, blindness, a hacking cough, lung cancer, throat cancer, the sudden loss of one’s extremities, and addiction to cigarettes, chewing tobacco and cigars. Sure, now I can’t see, I’m always falling down, I have no idea who I am, I have a hole in my throat and I’m constantly having hallucinations that Art Howe is standing beside me trying to sell me a time-share, but at least I don’t smoke anymore. This year I decided to stop being so humble, demur and shy and to play up my strengths, which means wearing more tank top shirts to show off my impressive shoulder and back hair and to stop hiding my disgustingly smelly feet, …

Thursday, December 24th, 2009
Devils Rumors & NewsGiants Rumors & News

Christmas is all about comebacks and overcoming adversity against all odds. Ok, it’s really nothing about comebacks and overcoming adversity against all odds but is about love, peace on earth, goodwill toward men, opening presents, then drinking all day long and passing out underneath the tree as an ornament falls and pierces one of your eyeballs, sending you screaming down the street bloody, naked and in horrifying pain. Ah, Christmas. One of the brightest, heartwarming stories of the week, though, is Jonathan Bender’s return to the world of basketball after not playing a game in four years. And on top of it all, he’s been productive. The Knicks, too, are on the comeback trail after starting out at 1-9. Bender’s return after a long absence brings to mind other great comebacks. So, without further ado, here’s a random list of notable returns over the decades (and even centuries).

Gordie Howe retired after the 1971 season, then came back in 1973-’74 to play with his sons, Mark and Marty, lasting …

Friday, December 18th, 2009
Devils Rumors & NewsGiants Rumors & News

On Saturday night I was flipping between another Rangers loss and the Christmas classic It’s a Wonderful Life. Of course you can’t help but wonder, “What if George Bailey’s situation happened to me?” What if I were able to see the consequences of never being born? That thought lasted about a minute and a half, because everybody’s life would surely be better. My wife would have been able to marry a more successful, rich, interesting, well-rounded man instead of someone who has nothing but a monkey shooting a slap shot, a couple of empty beer cans and some old Rusty Staub highlights filling up his head. My daughter would have a normal father, one who doesn’t constantly quiz her on the proper French Canadian–accented way of saying the names Guy Lafleur and Gilbert Perrault. And nobody else’s life would be affected one way or the other.

But on that subject, what if, more importantly, James Dolan had never been born? The Isiah Thomas era would never have happened. …

Friday, December 11th, 2009
Devils Rumors & NewsGiants Rumors & News

Here are some of the highlights, lowlights, scandals, trades and car accidents of the past week in the New York sports world.

Nate-Gate: The surging Knicks have won three games in a row, they’re spreading the ball around on offense and playing solid team defense – yes, defense (somewhere Dave DeBusschere is smiling). They’re moving up in the standings, but Nate-Gate is in full bloom, with chants of “We want Nate” raining down from the Garden faithful while Nate Robinson is tethered to the bench. Whenever he doesn’t play, the Knicks win, so the erratic guard may never see action again. Shooting at the wrong basket, too much goofing around and breezily fraternizing with the enemy have done him in. After realizing that he’s getting paid $4 million to watch NBA games a few times a week and is getting front row seats to boot, he’s not complaining, and is settling into his role as the Knicks’ Little Bit o’ Luck guy. He’s starting to make …

Friday, November 27th, 2009
Devils Rumors & NewsGiants Rumors & News

Thanksgiving is the best of all holidays. There’s football all day long, eating all day long and drinking all day long (actually that sounds like most Sundays during football season). I think there’s something in there about Pilgrims and Indians, too, but I can’t remember what it is. A Chiefs-Patriots game maybe? Did they have muskets and kill turkeys in the old AFL? Or was it Redskins-Cowboys? The Knicks won a game this week, but it was against the Nets so I’m not sure if that really counts (those teams are a combined 3-27 so far this season), the hockey teams all won some and lost some, the Jets were trounced by the hated Patriots, the Giants went 1-1, and the Mets and Yankees started looking at possible free agents and trades, but they all have something to be thankful for during the holiday season. So here we go:

The Knicks are thankful that the Nets are worse than they are.

The Knicks are also thankful for 1970 and 1973 because that may be it for another 30 years or …

Friday, November 20th, 2009
Devils Rumors & NewsGiants Rumors & News

The Knicks won a game this week! And The Answer may be coming to New York (so the question must be: Will a desperate team do anything to keep their fans interested?). But with last Friday’s loss, the Knicks established the worst 10-game start in franchise history. Things could be a lot worse, though; here are some other bad starts throughout history that may help them feel better about themselves: The Hindenburg blew up over New Jersey on the first of its 10 scheduled round-trips between Europe and the United States, killing 36 people; the Titanic hit an iceberg and sunk four days into its maiden voyage; William Henry Harrison died of a cold one month into his presidency in 1841; Wally Backman lasted four days as manager of the Arizona Diamondbacks before he was unceremoniously shown the door; Gilligan’s three-hour tour got off to an inauspicious start, getting stranded on a deserted island for 15 years, until the castaways were miraculously rescued, followed by them buying …

Friday, November 13th, 2009
Devils Rumors & NewsGiants Rumors & News

The Yankees win the World Series and as soon as you can say the words “Johnny Damon wants a four-year contract” the rest of the New York–area teams go down the tubes. They went a combined 5-11 this past week. It must be a hangover. Are all the local teams riding on the Yankees’ coattails and going to all of their parties? It’s also possible that many of the area teams just stink. The Knicks and Nets went a combined 0-7 this week, and are 1-16 for the year, for instance. It was only the always-good Devils that skewed the combined record by going 4-0, and they barely count as a local team.

Here’s a day-by-day look at the past seven days.

Friday: The injury-riddled Nets lost to Philly, which kept them winless for the season, and the Devils beat the Islanders in a continuation of the New Jersey–Long Island War of 1801, in which it was so cold and icey out during the Battle of Massapequa that both sides just gave up …

Friday, October 23rd, 2009
Devils Rumors & NewsGiants Rumors & News

It was a brutal week for the New York football teams, as the Giants got killed and the Jets fell to lowly Buffalo and lost Kris Jenkins for the rest of the season. Even the hockey teams mixed in some debacles with a few wins. And something bad probably happened to the Mets even though their season is long over.

But even after last night’s loss, the Yankees are sitting pretty, with a 3-2 lead in the series and heading back home. With a budget as high as our country’s deficit, the Yanks had two options this offseason: Use their money to cure the U.S. economy or buy a whole bunch of free agents. They chose the latter, and it’s working out just fine (well, for them). Unfortunately, the one aspect of the playoffs that has stood out the most is the atrocious umpiring. The horrible umpiring in this year’s postseason is unprecedented, but there are things out there that are actually worse, if you can believe it. …

Friday, October 16th, 2009
Devils Rumors & NewsGiants Rumors & News

Now that the Great Balloon Hoax of Aught-Nine is over, we can concentrate on sports again (CC Sabathia’s uniform is so big and baggy, it could probably be filled with helium and flown across the country, too). This past week in New York sports, the Yankees swept the Twins and now have to take on those pesky, team-of-destiny Angels, the Giants killed the Raiders to stay undefeated, the Jets suffered their second consecutive loss, the Rangers kept on winning, the Devils heated up, but the poor Islanders still couldn’t manage to notch their first victory of the year. The most bizarre moment of the week, though, was the Mickey Rourke sighting on the Giants sideline. And Kevin Bacon showed up at the Garden for the Knicks preseason home opener. Is the cast of Diner making the rounds of the local sports teams to commemorate the 27th anniversary of the movie?

Besides being at the Knicks game, Bacon could also be seen hiding in the Yankees dugout on Friday because, unbeknownst to A. J. Burnett, that was Shrevie’s wife, donned in curly …

Friday, March 20th, 2009

Hot Stove Player of the Week: Martin Brodeur

Devils Rumors & News

This was a week of records being broken, World Baseball Classic excitement and drinking until you turned green on St. Patrick’s Day, but it may have all been overshadowed by the weirdness that is Alex Rodriguez. Pictures were released of him pretty much making out with himself and rolling around on a mattress. Did he finally sweep himself off his feet? What’s next? Cloning? Maybe he got divorced so he can marry himself. He’s just getting more and more bizarre. “What was he thinking?” and “A-Rod” go to together like peanut butter and jelly these days. This week’s Hot Stove Player of the Week, Martin Brodeur, has turned down his prize: “I don’t need a prize. Just working and living in New Jersey is an award in and of itself.”

Winner

Martin Brodeur: The Devils goalie tied Patrick Roy’s all-time wins record on Saturday in his hometwon of Montreal and then broke it in New Jersey on Tuesday night. Next up is the all-time shutouts record, currently held by Terry Sawchuk, though it …

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