Baseball season is right around the corner (hey, three weeks is like four days when you’re my age, so twentysomething days is “right around the corner” to me), and after all the snow this winter, I’m ready. But here comes one of those “the old days were better” ramblings – they don’t call me Old Man Freier in my neighborhood for nothing (actually they pretty much just ignore me because I start every sentence with “Back in my day”). I was recently watching part of game five of the 1976 Yankees-Royals LCS that YES always seems to show and an episode of The Bronx Is Burning on MSG (the one about the 1977 LCS, which intersperses real highlights from the series), and it’s safe to say that baseball has changed since then. It may not have been better, but it was different. It’s lost a lot of its toughness and boys-will-be-boys attitude. In the 1976 game, the first pitch thrown by Grant Jackson right after George Brett hits his game-tying three-run homer in the top of the eighth is aimed right for John Mayberry’s head. It was clearly 100% intentional, but nobody batted an eye. Mayberry ducked out the way, but didn’t even look at Jackson, let alone stand and glare at him or shout at him. The announcers barely mentioned it – just that it was ball one. And there were no stupid umpire warnings, thank god. If that happened today, alarms would go off and the batter would run and hide until it was safe to come back on the field.

In the 1977 LCS, Graig Nettles broke up a double play by putting his shoulder down and running over Frank White, sending him to into oblivion. He made no effort to slide. Of course, the rules have changed since then, and players now have to at least pretend to slide. The rulebook was mainly rewritten because of what Royal Hal McRae did to Willie Randolph, when he body blocked him into left field. Second basemen were just waiting to get killed back then. Again, maybe that’s not better, but different. And then there was the famous fight between Nettles and Brett. Punches were thrown, bodies were slammed, Nettles even kicked Brett – but no one was thrown out of the game. Boys will be boys. There’s even a scene in the miniseries where Billy Martin/John Turturro stands on the top step of the dugout yelling expletives at Royals pitcher Larry Gura (I’m assuming that it’s based on a true incident). Can you imagine Joe Girardi cursing at John Lackey? Today’s players are so much more sensitive and fragile than the old-timers, with their taking offense to any pitch that comes near them, their body armor, pitch counts, delicately sliding around catchers, manicured hair, dancing and handshakes, the disappearance of bench jockeying, coddling by the union and owners, wearing batting helmets while running the bases – you get the picture. And they’re so much nicer to their enemies, with all the fraternizing that goes on. Sure, today’s spoiled players are more athletic, faster, bigger and stronger (wink, wink), but little by little, the game is turning into softball, with no contact, and god help you if you hurt anyone’s feelings. As the Hanson Brothers might have said: “Old-time baseball! Thurman Munson! Cookie Rojas! Lou Piniella!”

Ok, the boring sermon is over, and now back to 2010. Here are the top stories in the world of New York sports this past week:

Comings and Goings: The NFL free-agent frenzy has begun. Say good-bye to Thomas Jones (Chiefs), Kerry Rhodes (Cardinals), David Carr (49ers) and Fred Robbins (Rams), and say hello to Antrel Rolle, Jim Sorgi, Brodney Pool and Antonio Cromartie. The Jets kindly gave $500,000 up front to their new cornerback so he can clear up the many, many, many (many) paternity issues he has going. He’s the Brady Bunch, Eight Is Enough, With Six You Get Eggroll, Yours, Mine and Ours and My Three Sons all rolled into one.

The Week in Port St. Lucie: Thyroids, pink eye, sore shoulders, pitchers getting hit in the knee with line drives, Oliver Perez getting hammered, front office miscommunications and buffoonery – it’s just another routine week for the Mets. John Maine had a promising outing, though when healthy, he’s usually good, while Perez and Mike Pelfrey were lit up. Any bad performance by one of those guys and we’re in “the sky is falling” territory, but with Johan Santana it’s all about how he feels. Statistically, his first start didn’t go so well (1.2 innings pitched, four runs, six hits, one K, one BB), but as long as he’s healthy, who cares? Frankie Rodriguez is back in camp after suffering from pink eye and the slings and arrows of Goose Gossage calling him a clown (I’m not sure which is worse). Clowns everywhere will come out of the woodwork to criticize Gossage because the Hall-of-Fame reliever used the word “clown” in a derogatory manner. We’re only days away from a press conference/formal apology from the former Yankee great: “I apologize to any clowns I may have offended. I regret my choice of words. I should said ‘bonehead’ instead.” And because the Mets can’t seem to pull off the simplest of tasks, for a few days we had Thyroid-Gate, starring Jose Reyes’ overactive thyroid (“It’s not overactive!” “Yes it is!”). Of course, now he’ll be out for weeks or even months before he can resume any kind of baseball activity. But kids Jenrry Meija and Ike Davis along with not-so-young Chris Carter keep on impressing everybody – so they have that going for them.

The Week in Tampa: The Phil Hughes/Joba Chamberlain duel began this past week, and the verdict so far: Hughes pretty good, Joba very bad (27.05 ERA). Francisco Cervelli was drilled in the melon and got a concussion on Saturday. Thankfully, he seems to be doing fine now. And speaking of doing fine, Nick Johnson’s back on the field and homered twice on Tuesday. CC Sabathia looked a lot like Santana on Tuesday, when he went 2.2 innings and let in five runs on seven hits. Meanwhile, the Alex Rodriguez/Dr. Tony Galea controversy continues. The shady doctor treated A-Rod without permission from the Yankees, and now, unlike Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran, he’s refusing to come clean on what went on. The feds may be twisting his arm, but if he’s not guilty of anything then just say so. Of course, A-Rod can’t trust himself to not stick his own foot in his mouth. He’s walking around camp muttering advice to himself, “Don’t say anything stupid. Just pretend you’re somebody else.”

The Race for the Worst: The Nets beat the Knicks this week but they’re still in a race against time for the worst record ever. If they win three more games, will the 1972-’73 Philadelphia 76ers pop the champagne and celebrate like the ’72 Miami Dolphins? The worst record in Nets franchise history is 17-65, by the way. The 1989-’90 team, coached by Bill Fitch, set that mark. Dennis Hopson was their leading scorer (15.8), while Sam Bowie was their top rebounder (10.1 per game). That pretty much says it all. Other players on that team: Chris Morris, Mookie Blaylock, Roy Hinson, Purvis Short, Lester Conner, Charles Shackleford, Chris Dudley, Derrick Gervin, and even Anthony Mason and Rick Carlisle. Looking to the future, though, there was a groundbreaking ceremony yesterday in Brooklyn for the team’s new arena, with Jay-Z and other luminaries grabbing a shovel. But there was no sign of Joe Barry Carroll.

Not Much Better: The woeful Knicks lost to the Nets, and missed all of their three pointers along the way. They did beat Atlanta by one point, though, to try and regain some dignity. But their loss on Wednesday to San Antonio clinched their ninth straight losing season, setting a franchise record (they had eight consecutive losing seasons from 1959-’60 to ’66-’67). Thanks James Dolan. Now please just go away.

Momentum Changer: So, an aging, balding drunk who’s kind of a jerk walks into a bar (this sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn’t it? But it’s just what I did on Sunday night), and at that same moment Brandon Dubinsky scores the tying goal against Buffalo. But before I even had a bottle of beer in my hand, the Sabres scored in overtime to beat the Rangers. And just like that, another point gets away from them. Even the usually reliable Henrik Lundqvist/Martin Brodeur matchup let them down, when the Devils crushed the Blueshirts in a sloppily played game by both teams. Points are quickly slipping away. Is this the beginning of the end for the Rangers (or did that happen on opening day?) and the beginning of a turnaround for New Jersey, who hadn’t been winning consistently in a few months? It’s getting late fast for the Rangers. And it’s all over for the Islanders, as they lost all three of their games this week.

Super Bowl Sunday combines everything that’s great about our country: Drinking, eating 15 pounds of Buffalo wings, gambling and British classic rock. Why, oh why is this day not a national holiday? Here in New York, did we care who won? Well, if you had a wager on the game you did. Or did one of those squares things at work. So even if you don’t have a true rooting interest, it’s still hard to watch the game in a nice, relaxing manner when you’re yelling at the TV for the Colts to get a safety so they could end up with a score that ends in 5. The halftime show is always fun. The Who (or what’s left of them) rocked as only senior citizens can. Let’s give them credit, though, when I’m their age I’ll be lucky if can eat solid food and remember where I live. But the band is getting too rickety to smash their own equipment, so they have roadies do that for them now, as they exit the stage on their Rascal scooters. Next year, I believe Bill Haley and the Comets will be performing. And in the postgame festivities, former Chiefs quarterback Len Dawson carried out the Vince Lombardi Trophy with Saints players mobbing him, and it was only when he was back at his hotel did the Hall-of-Famer realize that his wallet was stolen.

As for the game, it wasn’t an all-time classic but will be remembered for the Saints finally winning, with the onside kick as the play that will forever be remembered. And the team and the city of New Orleans deserve it. Was there karma involved for the Colts in not going for the undefeated season? Whatever the case, the people from the resilient city in Louisiana will be celebrating for a long time. At least they can relax and sober up during the upcoming Mardi Gras festivities. And everybody in the world now knows all about Who Dat Nation. Is it time for us to come up with a New York equivalent? Here are some obvious names: Fuhgeddaboudit Nation and Are You Talkin’ To Me? Nation. But there are some others to choose from as well: If You Don’t Stop Looking at Me I’ll Stab You in the Neck Nation; Watch Out For That Creepy Guy on the Subway Nation; and Sure, We Have Body Parts Floating in the East River – You Got a Problem With That? Nation. When all was said and done, Drew Brees called going to New Orleans a calling from God. I feel the same way about my present situation – I have a dead-end job, I’m in debt, I can barely pay my bills and mortgage, I have a car that’s held together by duct tape and my family only gives me the time of day because I’m the one who takes out the garbage and shovels the snow. It’s a calling from God; apparently God just doesn’t really care for me.

Here are the top stories in the world of New York sports this week:

What Might Have Been and What Might Not Ever Be: The only good news for the Knicks this week was David Lee finally making the All-Star team. They lost to Milwaukee on Friday, and all the talk was about point guard Brandon Jennings and what could have been. On Saturday, they lost to Cleveland and LeBron James (with a valiant, but failed comeback attempt) and the talk was about what could be – but King James coming to NYC is probably just wishful thinking. Nate Robinson was the starting point guard for those two games, but Mike D’Antoni quickly came to his senses and realized that Nate’s a chucker not a floor general, so Chris Duhon was back in the starting lineup for the overtime loss to Sacramento (despite Wilson Chandler’s heroics). The Kings franchise had one of the great point guards in NBA history, of course, in Nate “Tiny” Archibald, not to mention Oscar Robertson and very briefly Bob Cousy (he inserted himself into seven games when he coached the Cincinnati Royals in 1969-’70; it’s unclear whether he was wearing a suit when he was running up and down the court, though), and to haunt the Knicks even more about their point guard situation, Curly Neal was in the stands watching the Knicks-Kings game.

The Cold War: Sean Avery doesn’t even have to trash talk about Martin Brodeur to Brodeur himself and he gets under the skin of the Devils. He baited Ilya Kovalchuk into jumping him with a few pleasantries regarding Brodeur, and got the new Devil off the ice for the final minutes of the Rangers’ victory. Not that I’m in love with all of Avery’s antics and sideshow personality, but if the roles had been reversed and he had been the one who speared and then attacked Kovalchuk while only being verbally provoked, what are the odds he would have not only been kicked out of the game but suspended as well? The Rangers followed up their win vs. the Devils with a loss to Nashville, sans Marian Gaborik (and then put Donald Brashear on waivers – where he belongs). They . . . just . . . can’t . . . score. The Devils too are sinking like a stone. They fall apart at the end of games, and even when they do score, it comes with a price. Anssi Salmela was leveled by Flyer Jeff Carter right after he scored and was taken off the ice on a stretcher. If that wasn’t bad enough, New Jersey lost both their games to the Flyers. The problem lately? They . . . just . . . can’t . . . score.

Meanwhile, Out on Long Island: After doing nothing but losing, the Islanders got a big win on Tuesday, when Mark Streit scored the tying goal with 11 seconds left in the game (all three goals were by defensemen), and then the team went on to win in a shootout. And the second-to-last power play in the league caught fire in this game, too – well, going one for six is catching fire when you haven’t scored in so long. And then they lost a routine one to Pittsburgh on Wednesday. And like their local rivals, they . . . just . . . can’t . . . score.

The Plight of the Nets: They . . . just . . . can’t . . . win. But will Rick Pitino ride in to save the day?

Stuff About the Mets: The Mets are lowering the portion of Citi Field’s center-field wall in front of the apple by eight feet. That’s probably the least of the team’s problems, though. Mookie Wilson is back with the organization as a minor league outfield and base-running coordinator. Maybe he can be the automatic pinch-runner for the team as well, replacing everybody on the bases at all times. And Keith Hernandez is tutoring Daniel Murphy at first base. While Murphy made some aggressive mistakes and was out of position at times last season, I thought he showed a lot of promise at a position he had to learn at the major league level. At least he actually tried to field the ball at all times, unlike Carlos Delgado, who couldn’t be bothered to move half the time. And the Mets signed old friend Mike Jacobs this week.

The Sex Addict Speaks: In a recent interview, former blowhard announcer and failed Met GM Steve Phillips said: “I couldn’t stop myself from doing the things that I was doing, even knowing the consequences – marriage, great job, great career, and I risked all of that.” I could be wrong, but I think he was talking about trading for Mo Vaughn.

A Giant Good-bye: The Giants released middle-linebacker and captain of the defense Antonio Pierce yesterday. He made a Pro Bowl, won a Super Bowl and, oh yeah, he was involved in the Bonnie Situation - I mean the Plaxico Situation. It may have been time for him to go, but it’s a gamble for the Giants – who will replace him?

Gone But Not Forgotten: It was Dick McGuire last week, and now former Knick Carl Braun has passed away also. The New York native played 12 seasons with the Knicks, going all the way back to the Basketball Association of America (he finished his career with one year in Boston). He was on the Knicks when they reached the finals three consecutive years in the early ’50s. He also coached the team for two years in the early ’60s. He played in five NBA All-Star games, was voted to the All-BAA second team in 1948 and the All-NBA second team in 1954. He finished his career with a 13.5 points-per-game average, and was the Knicks’ all-time scoring leader when he retired (he’s now fifth on the list).

We all know about the great athletes in New York sports history – Babe Ruth, Tom Seaver, Lawrence Taylor, Joe Namath, Mark Messier, Walt Frazier – and even the busts – Ed Whitson, Mo Vaughn, Roberto Alomar, Stephon Marbury, Scott Gomez. But what about the slightly-to-highly-above-average athlete? The kind-of-great but not all-timer? They may not have been Hall-of-Famers, but they were All-Stars, fan favorites, cogs on a championship team or maybe even just pretty darn good. They’re the little brother that didn’t hog all the attention. But they’re certainly worth talking about and remembering. So when do they get their due? Well, now they will. Here is a series of the not-quite-legendary in New York sports history.

Giants linebacker Brad Van Pelt was the bridge between the Alex Webster/Norm Snead/Ron Johnson era and the Lawrence Taylor/Phil Simms/Bill Parcells years. He played for five different coaches (Webster, Bill Arnsparger, John McVay, Ray Perkins, Parcells) and in four home stadiums (Yankee Stadium, the Yale Bowl, Shea Stadium, Giants Stadium). And he was a Giant through and through. He was tough, versatile, hard working and hard-nosed – everything that’s synonymous with being a Giant.

An outstanding all-around athlete, Van Pelt played football, baseball and basketball at Michigan State. He was a two-time All-American and won the Maxwell Award as the best college player, and was the first defensive back to do so – he played safety in college (and he was elected to the College Football Hall of Fame). He dropped down to the second round of the 1973 draft and fell into the Giants’ lap because many thought he would sign with the baseball St. Louis Cardinals as a pitcher. His unique calling card was his uniform #10. The NFL had just instituted its policy of positional numbering, with linebackers having to wear numbers in the fifties. But Van Pelt was able to keep his college number due to the fact that he was listed as the Giants’ backup kicker (which he was at Michigan State).

Van Pelt suffered through the 1970s playing for one awful team after another, but he was the bright spot in one of the most inauspicious eras in Big Blue history. In fact, he made five consecutive Pro Bowls (1976–’80) and was voted the franchise’s player of the decade for the ’70s. It wasn’t until 1981 when he and the Giants finally made the playoffs. It was his only postseason appearance and winning season with the team. By then he was part of a linebacking corps known as the Crunch Bunch. Together with Harry Carson, Brian Kelley and a young Lawrence Taylor, the foursome combined for one of the best and most menacing linebacking gangs in NFL history.

The gritty linebacker finished his career with 24.5 sacks and 20 interceptions, but he was so much more than stats and numbers. After the glamour, Broadway years for the Giants of the 1950s and early ’60s, Van Pelt ushered in the punishing, tenacious blue-collar ways that the Giants would be known for during the next three decades. He played a total of 11 seasons with Big Blue, and finished his career playing in Oakland for two years and a final season in the sun with the Browns. Sadly he died of a heart attack at the age of 57 just last February. He just missed out on the glory years of the 1980s and left this world much too young. Brad Van Pelt had bad timing but he was a great, great player with a heart as big as Giants Stadium.

(Click here, here and here to read the other bios in the series.)

We sports fans are a dramatic bunch when it comes to our teams – everything is life and death – but in real life we shrug sadness and tragedy off like it’s nothing. “My Uncle Maury died? What are ya gonna do? He had a good run. Can you pass the ketchup?” But if the team we root for goes into a slump or, God forbid, gets knocked out of the playoffs, we’re screaming, tears are falling like Niagara Falls and we’re pulling what’s left of our hair out. Think back to the 1994 Stanley Cup and tears of joy start falling. Think of the Wilpons or James Dolan owning your team, and tears of sadness reign down. And if you’re like me and Rip Torn, you’ll get so drunk you’ll mistakenly take a local bank for your house, break in and pass out as I did when the 2007 baseball season ended and the Mets pulled off the collapse hear round the world. I was in such bad shape that I was nearly fired from my job, my wife almost left me and even my daughter put herself up for adoption. We’ll even cry at the end of sports movies. Sure, the waterworks will be unstoppable during Brian’s Song (how can anyone not cry during that tear-fest?), but Dennis Quaid throws an inning for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays with every member of his hometown surprising him after the game, and I’m a quivering mess.

The local teams have been filled with ups and downs this week, which means tears, anger, happiness and hope. We cried when the Knicks blew a lead to the Timberwolves and laughed a giddy guffaw when the Rangers beat Colorado. But we cried again when the Blueshirts fell to LA. But we laughed once more when we saw pictures of Stephon Marbury sitting on a bench in China. There were more downs than ups, though, this week, but whatever the case may be, our emotions were running high one way or the other. But when our sweet, loving grandmother tripped over our retro John Gianelli Knicks jersey that was left in a heap on the floor, broke her hip and cried out for help, we shushed her and said, “Not now, Grandma, the game’s about to start.”

Here are the top stories in the world of New York sports this past week:

The $50,000 Finger: Just like Evel Knievel and Elvis Presley were the only two men on the face of the earth who could get away with wearing a cape, Rex Ryan is the only local coach who can give the finger to a group of his team’s rival fans and walk away unscathed with a “That’s just Rex being Rex” excuse. Well, he did get fined $50,000. And come to think of it, maybe I can see John Tortorella doing that. And Mike D’Antoni is pretty emotional. So maybe all the local coaches can get away with that. And it turns out an unruly fan goaded him into it by possibly spitting on him. But has Ryan already entered flakey, Manny Being Manny territory? Is he out of control and on a rampage or is it all part of his master plan to have everybody hate the Jets? Crazy? Or crazy genius?

Hello Olli: The Rangers didn’t so much as trade for Olli Jokinen as get rid of Ales Kotalik’s contract. Is Glen Sather actually going to admit to all his mistakes and start working on rectifying the mess he created? Earlier in the week, and for the first time ever, Chris Drury showed actual signs of a personality and humor while being interviewed between periods of Sunday’s game. I almost fell out of my chair, but then I found out he was just plugging his Connecticut pizzeria that will be opening soon. It figures he had an ulterior motive. He certainly doesn’t get that frisky talking about the Rangers. On the ice, Sunday vs. Colorado, Chad Johnson earned his first NHL win, and just like old times, Marian Gaborik did most of the scoring for the team this week until last night’s crazy, undisciplined goal-fest.

Hello Ilya: The Devils have been scoring about as much as their ancestors, the Kansas City Scouts, lately, and they’re 3-6-1 in their last 10 games, but yesterday’s blockbuster trade should help them out. They acquired Ilya Kovalchuk and Anssi Samlema from Atlanta for Johnny Oduya, Niclas Berfors, prospect Patrice Cormier and a first-round draft pick.

Hello Nate, Good-bye Del: The Knicks salvaged the week with a win against Washington on Wednesday. The energetic defense that proved so successful had disappeared for the Knicks, and with it went the winning. They even lost to lowly Minnesota. But when Al Harrington’s scoring off the bench returned, and with Nate Robinson replacing Chris Duhon, they may get back to winning again. As for their counterpart across the river, the losing is so bad the coaches aren’t getting fired, they’re quitting. Del Harris has left the Nets, but can you really blame him? If Kike Vandeweghe disappears, the players may have to get in a van and drive down to Houston to see if Kelly Leak’s father will coach them. The Nets are so bad, we may hear their fans start chanting, “Don’t let them play!”

Growing Pains: No, we’re not talking about Alan Thicke (though he is Canadian and can play hockey with the best of them). We’re referring to the young Islanders. They’ve have lost six games in a row now. John Tavares and Matt Moulson (though he scored last night) are struggling, Josh Bailey’s injured and Rick DiPietro is still trying to shake the rust off. They’re young, so bumps in the road are to be expected. And the bumps have arrived.

Giant Demands: Osi Umenyiora recently went on the radio and demanded to start next year or else he’d quit. On the day he was hired, new defensive coordinator Perry Fewell said that Osi would be starting again. How easy was that? With his demands met before he even uttered them, Umenyiora has now also insisted that that he be paid money for his services and that the team provide him with a uniform. Former Giant Plaxico Burress has stated that he’ll resume his playing career when he’s released from the slammer – that is if he doesn’t accidentally shiv himself in the leg.

Gone But Not Forgotten, Part One: Former Shea Stadium organist Jane Jarvis died this past week. She was 94. She played the organ at Mets games from 1964 to 1979. Not only did she play standards such as “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” but she mixed in the jazzy classics of Charlie Parker as well. Before joining the Mets, she was the organist for the Milwaukee Braves for eight years and was an accomplished jazz musician and also wrote Muzak. She was as much a part of Mets tradition as Kiner’s Korner, Mr. Met and Banner Day. And listening to her soothing yet groovy sound was much more preferable than the ear-splitting, blaring musical assault that goes on today.

Gone But Not Forgotten, Part Two: Mr. Knick Dick McGuire died on Wednesday. He was a player, coach, assistant coach and scout for the Knicks, spending 53 years with the team. Tricky Dick led the Knickerbockers to three straight finals in the early ’50s, played in five All-Star games while with the team and was second team All-NBA in 1951. His #15 has been retired by the team, and he’s third on the Knicks’ career assists list, with 2,950. He was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 1993. McGuire was unselfish on the court, and just as unselfish off it.

Gone But Not Forgotten, Part Three: Tom Brookshier died last week as well. He wasn’t really a New York guy (in fact, he played defensive back for the Eagles), but he was paired with Pat Summerall on many, many Giants games in the 1970s and early ’80s on CBS, making for one of the all-time great announcing duos (they also teamed up for many legendary drinking escapades in their time together with CBS). The two broadcast a handful of Super Bowls and hosted the classic highlight show This Week in Pro Football. Known for his wit and sense of humor, he was one of the best.

We’re only one week into 2010 and I’m already dropping the ball on my resolutions. In the past I’ve been more successful, such as the year I resolved to quit smoking cigarettes. I used one of those quit-smoking programs, with the patches and the gum and the whole nine yards. Unfortunately, the side effects included nausea, dizziness, vomiting, disorientation, hallucinations, agitation, hostility, amnesia, blindness, a hacking cough, lung cancer, throat cancer, the sudden loss of one’s extremities, and addiction to cigarettes, chewing tobacco and cigars. Sure, now I can’t see, I’m always falling down, I have no idea who I am, I have a hole in my throat and I’m constantly having hallucinations that Art Howe is standing beside me trying to sell me a time-share, but at least I don’t smoke anymore. This year I decided to stop being so humble, demur and shy and to play up my strengths, which means wearing more tank top shirts to show off my impressive shoulder and back hair and to stop hiding my disgustingly smelly feet, but instead, let my individuality reign and possibly enter some kind of rancid-smelling foot contest. I’ve already missed the deadline for the 2010 Stenchy Awards (or more commonly known as the Stenchys), and I haven’t worn any tank tops yet, but I still have 51 weeks left to get my act together.

The New York sports scene saw a number of locals break their resolutions, too. Mike D’Antoni’s resolution to keep Nate Robinson on the bench this year only lasted a few hours. The Giants resolved not to let up 40 or more points in a game but failed in their first week of the new year. The Nets vowed to win a game in 2010, but we’re still waiting. Rex Ryan pledged he would stop with the boasting and trash talking, but instantly declared his team the favorite for the Super Bowl. And the Rangers promised that they would get through the rest of the season with only Marian Gaborik scoring any goals, but lo and behold, seven other players also scored this week.

Here are the top headlines from the past week in New York sports:

Jets Good: The Meadowlands got a second shot at a memorable sendoff, and, unlike the Giants, the Jets came through for the 34-year-old stadium. Two Sundays ago, the Jets got a stocking filled with Christmas miracles – every team lost that they wanted to lose and the Colts rested Peyton Manning, which surely helped the Jets’ chance for a victory. This week, the Bengals gave them another gift win by not showing up – or did they? The debate is still raging. But a win’s a win, nonetheless, and Gang Green is in the playoffs. Brad Smith had a breakout wild cat game. And Darrelle Revis completely shut down Chad Ochocinco. The loudmouth receiver vowed not to get stranded on Revis Island, but he was last seen trying to build a radio out of a coconut so he could contact someone to rescue him from his embarrassing day. The rematch is tomorrow.

Giants Bad: Owner John Mara summed everything up about the 2009 Giants earlier in the week:

“This is probably as disappointed as I’ve ever been in my life at this team, given the expectations that we had this year, given the roster I thought we had and given the way we started out, given the embarrassment of the last two weeks.”

“I’m disappointed in everything, I’m unhappy at everybody. It is just not acceptable to perform like that. There are 8-8 seasons and there are 8-8 seasons. This one felt a lot more like 2-14 to me.”

“Even before the last two games, there were at least four other losses where we were just not competitive. And obviously the last two games were the worst. But when you have that many games where you get blown out, there is something wrong. That means that something has to be done.”

“The lack of mental and physical toughness and, quite frankly, a lack of effort over the last two weeks. That is just something I never expected to see from this group of players.”

“I know we had some injuries but I don’t think we had catastrophic injuries.”

“There’s no excuse for performing the way we performed over basically the last 11 weeks.”

The Nate Robinson Explosion: His exile ended on Friday and he pumped in 41 points to lead the Knicks to victory. Pick your point of view: D’Antoni’s strategy worked; or he should have been playing the guard all along. Just in time to replace Nate-Gate comes Larry Hughes-Gate. Maybe the coach should spend a minute or two a week communicating with his players. What harm could it do? If it’s too difficult for him, he could hire Bill Lumbergh to handle that task for him: “What’s happening, Larry . . . mmm, yeah . . . I’m going to need you to . . . mmm . . . not play for a few weeks . . . yeah . . . if you could just go ahead and sit on the bench for the next month or so, that would be great  . . . mmm, yeah . .  and don’t forget to use the new cover sheet when you fill out your TPS reports, m’kay?” Meanwhile, and more importantly, the Knicks are winning consistently, everyone’s contributing, they’re playing solid defense and David Lee is coming into his own and playing like an All-Star.

Jason Bay Is a Met: The lack of market for Jason Bay is the Mets gain. They’ll pay 54 million dollars less than the Cardinals will be paying Matt Holliday (or $40 million if you count that fifth-year option) and on the hook for fewer years. Omar Minaya waited him out and it worked. The left fielder and his agent waited for a bidding war that never happened, and Minaya only anted up an extra million (and a fifth-year option) from his original offer. The Mets only hit four home runs as a team last season so Bay should help out in the power department. And the Canadian outfielder will usher in a new era for the team – Les Mets. It’s possible they may have signed Rod Gilbert, too.

El Diablo: The Devils tallied the most-ever points at the halfway mark in franchise history, with 61. Team captain Jamie Langenbrunner also had a memorable week: He was the NHL’s first star of the week, he was named to the U.S. Olympic hockey team on Friday, and then he scored his first career hat trick on Saturday in his native Minnesota with 200 of his closest friends watching – though they may have just wanted to get out of the minus-20-degree weather and into a nice toasty hockey rink.

The Delinquent: Sean Avery led the Rangers to victory on Wednesday, with a goal and three assists against the team that let him go and is still paying him. Why did he have a Nate Robinson-like explosion in the game? “I was getting paid by two teams.” The Blueshirts went 2-0-2 this week, and are on a 7-1-3 run.

The 2009 Giants started the season with Super Bowl expectations and ended it with their head coach saying, “I do think we tried. They all came to the stadium wanting to play.” Tom Coughlin seems to have lost his read on his players if he thinks his team tried. They may have come to the stadium wanting to play but once they stepped on the field, it was a different story. The Giants followed up their humiliating embarrassment of last Sunday with 60 minutes of even more humiliating embarrassment this week, if that’s possible. Maybe they wanted to do it twice in a row, and in different states, to get their point across. I’m just not sure what that point is.

Are there any possible reasons for mailing it in like they did the last two games? Were they just making sure Bill Sheridan gets fired? Maybe Kevin Gilbride, too? Did they catch the rerun of There’s Something About Mary the other night, and because Brett Favre was so nice to Mary’s brother Warren they thought they’d roll over for the legendary QB as a gesture of kindness? Did they want to ensure that their fans were embarrassed when they went back to work on Monday to start the new year? Did Gilbert Arenas have a bet on the Vikings and the Giants players were scared for their lives? Maybe they have self-esteem issues and just don’t like themselves.

The offensive and defensive lines were the strength of the Giants and they both regressed badly this season. The defensive backfield is in a shambles, and some new linebackers will be needed. The running game suffered a huge setback, so changes will need to be made there. Of course, a new defensive coordinator will take over. Sheridan is probably being fired as I write this. Eli Manning and Steve Smith had a good year, and Hakeem Nicks and Mario Manningham gained valuable experience and showed they’re ready for extensive NFL playing time. But that’s about it for the positives.

How does a team go from 5-0 to this? The shoddy-tackling, pressure-less defense gave up the second most points in franchise history, with 427 (the 1966 team allowed 501), so that’s a clue. Sure they had injuries – three defensive backs, the starting middle linebacker, a defensive tackle, two offensive linemen, the running backs – but what team doesn’t? They’re still professionals. But they just don’t seem to care. They had no leadership, fire or passion. These aren’t your father’s New York Giants. Or even your second cousin’s. Coughlin isn’t going anywhere, so he’ll need to make some big changes around this team, and look in the mirror himself and see where he went wrong.

The 2009 Giants season ends with these sad words from center Shaun O’Hara: “To play like that two weeks in a row is disrespectful to the logo that’s on our helmets. The Maras, the Tishes, the Giants franchise, the organization and our fans deserve better than what they’ve received from the players.”

In the last game the Giants will ever play at Giants Stadium, the 2009 Giants decided to honor the team that ushered in the stadium, the 3-11 1976 Giants, by playing just like them. Actually they played worse. Craig Morton, Walker Gillette and John Mendenhall were nowhere in sight, but somehow their ghosts invaded Giants Stadium (and somehow they have ghosts even though they’re not dead yet), as this year’s edition played like a last place team. The final score was 41-9, but the game really wasn’t that close.

This game is probably beyond analysis, but we’ll try anyway. Tackling? Pathetic. Rushing? Pathetic. Defense? Pathetic. Offense? Pathetic. That pretty much covers it. With the season on the line, the Giants just didn’t show up, and now they’re as dead and buried as Jimmy Hoffa. And they closed out Giants Stadium in humiliating fashion, dishonoring all the teams that played before them. It was a sad and pitiful display of football, with the team showing no heart, pride, character or toughness. Other adjectives describing this game: Woeful, disappointing, deplorable, repulsive, rotten, putrid, noxious, painful, lacking, weak and craptastic. Fumbles, interceptions, a plethora of sacks allowed and a defense being shredded is no way to play a football game. Especially in a must-win situation. And here’s the saddest and loneliest stat: Brandon Jacobs gained one yard. I’ll say it again – one measly yard.

Last week’s smackdown of the Redskins was looking like a momentum shifter, but it turns out the only momentum that shifted was the vague idea that the Skins weren’t that bad. Apparently, the 45-12 score wasn’t because the Giants are good. The first five weeks of the season, the Giants looked like the best team in the NFL, but starting in week six, you never knew which Giants team would show up. We’ve now come to learn they’re just not that good this year. Their victories look like mirages now. We no longer have to wait for the “good” Giants to show up. They never existed in the first place.

Giants Stadium is a nondescript structure in the middle of a parking lot in the middle of a swamp. But it was our nondescript structure in the middle of a parking lot in the middle of a swamp. Sure, it saw Joe Pisarcik and Flipper Anderson, but two NFC Championship games were won there (by scores of 17-0 and 41-0 no less!), it was the Giants’ home while winning three Super Bowls and the greatest defensive player ever to play the game spent his whole career wreaking havoc there. Defense, smashmouth football and toughness were signatures of the Giants over the last 30 years or so, and this is how it all ended? The last memory of Giants Stadium is the hometown team being booed off the field. The Giants embarrassed themselves, they embarrassed their fans, they embarrassed their past and they embarrassed their stadium. What a way to go out.

Christmas is all about comebacks and overcoming adversity against all odds. Ok, it’s really nothing about comebacks and overcoming adversity against all odds but is about love, peace on earth, goodwill toward men, opening presents, then drinking all day long and passing out underneath the tree as an ornament falls and pierces one of your eyeballs, sending you screaming down the street bloody, naked and in horrifying pain. Ah, Christmas. One of the brightest, heartwarming stories of the week, though, is Jonathan Bender’s return to the world of basketball after not playing a game in four years. And on top of it all, he’s been productive. The Knicks, too, are on the comeback trail after starting out at 1-9. Bender’s return after a long absence brings to mind other great comebacks. So, without further ado, here’s a random list of notable returns over the decades (and even centuries).

Gordie Howe retired after the 1971 season, then came back in 1973-’74 to play with his sons, Mark and Marty, lasting six years in the WHA with the Houston Aeros and New England Whalers followed by one last season in the sun in the NHL at the age of 51 with the Hartford Whalers. Jim Bouton wrapped up a nine-year career in the majors in 1970 (with the Yankees, Seattle Pilots and Houston), only to return to pitch five games in ’78 with the Braves as a knuckleballer, squeezing in time as a sports reporter and sitcom star (in Ball Four) in the years in between. Satchel Paige, after a long career in the Negro Leagues and five season in the majors with the Indians and St. Louis Browns, was brought back for one game as a publicity stunt by Charlie Finley at the approximate age of 59 (after not being on the field for 12 years) to pitch for the Kansas City A’s. One of the great actors of our time (or any time really), Craig T. Nelson starred in Poltergeist, All the Right Moves and Coach during the ’80s and ’90s, but then disappeared until his triumphant, should-have-been-award-winning return in Blades of Glory and as the warden in My Name is Earl. And, of course, we can’t leave out the greatest comeback of all – Jesus of Nazareth. I mean he literally rose from the dead for Pete’s sake (it’s not widely known, but before he ascended to heaven he threw three touchdown passes that day leading his team to victory in a must-win thriller).

Here are some of the top New York sports stories of the week. Sure, they might not rank up there with the Greatest Story Ever Told, but not every tale can be the best.

Playoffs? Plaaayyyoffs?! The Giants’ playoff hopes rose, as they gained a game on Green Bay, with their blowout win in Washington, while the Jets blew a golden opportunity to move up and away from the pack with their disappointing loss. Interceptions, missed field goals and penalties added up to a loss for Gang Green. And their great defense just can’t make the big stop at the end. That’s all she wrote for the Jets unless there’s a Christmas miracle in there somewhere. The Giants stomped all over division rival Washington, and now they need two wins and a loss by either Dallas or Green Bay. The odds are against them, but it’s not exactly miracle territory. And they hold the tiebreaker against those two teams.

Surging Knicks: They won on Friday vs. the Clippers, they won on Sunday vs. Charlotte and they won on Tuesday vs. Chicago. They’re doing it with defense, threes and spreading the ball around. It’s a different hero every night. And Mike D’Antoni’s tight rotation is working. Bender has cracked the lineup (though he suffered a mild injury the other night), but Nate Robinson may never play again with all this winning going on. He knows he’s not going to make it onto the court so he props up a cardboard cutout of himself on the bench before the opening tipoff and then goes to work at his part-time job at the Duane Reade on 33^rd and 8^th to make himself feel useful.

Entitlement: The only one questioning Wade-Gate at the garden with the Rangers is Wade Redden himself, who was clueless for the reasons of his benching. The overpaid defenseman has gone the opposite route as Nate, and has been using a cardboard cutout of himself while out on the ice, which explains his lifeless play the last few seasons. The fans aren’t chanting “We want Wade” but instead “We want Wade to go away.” Chris Drury, on the other hand, has responded the right way and completely turned his game around, as has the whole team. The Rangers are also on the comeback trail, with a four-game winning streak, and they played one of their best games of the year last night. With John Tortorella declaring the end of the entitlement era for the Rangers, does that mean he gets to scratch Glen Sather from his GM duties? Doesn’t the no entitlement thing apply to Sather, too?

Sawchukian: Martin Brodeur broke Terry Sawchuk’s shutout record, with his 104^th this week. It would have been more impressive if, in a tribute to the old-time goalie, Brodeur wore the tiny pads that Sawchuk had to wear and also went maskless while attempting the break the record. Brodeur has now shattered just about every goaltending record that exists, which cements his status as one of the best ever. There’s no word yet on whether Sean Avery sent the Devils goalie a congratulatory text (“Hey Fatso . . .”).

Hot Stove: The Yankees struck again, by acquiring Javier Vazquez from the Braves for Melky Cabrera. If this means we’ll never hear John Sterling say “the Melkman!” again, then the trade will be worth it. As for the Mets, making a big splash for the sake of getting onto the back pages is not the way to go, so good for them for taking their time, but they do know that they have plenty of holes to fill, don’t they? There’s no rule that says you have to wait for Jason Bay to make up his mind before you can get some pitching. Or a catcher. Or anything else they may need. Or are they just hibernating for the winter? Maybe Omar Minaya’s a “warm-weather” GM.

Last night, the Giants went back in time to the carefree, innocent, halcyon days of weeks one through five, when they romped and had their way with opponents and were looking like the best team in the NFL. Of course, they were playing against some of the worst teams in the NFL. And on Monday Night Football, the Redskins sure looked like one of the league’s dregs, making life easy for Big Blue. But at this time of year, all that matters is a win. But if it’s a 45-12 win, then that’s all the better.

The “good” Giants showed up for this game, and what did they do right vs. the Skins? How about everything. It was domination, annihilation, whatever fun word you want to use. The D pressured the quarterback, rattled the quarterback, sacked the quarterback (five times), injured the quarterback and generally made life miserable for the quarterback. They dominated the line of scrimmage. They played with three subs in the defensive backfield but you couldn’t tell the difference, as they intercepted three passes. The defense played like we thought they were going to play this year. Was Steve Spagnuolo on the sidelines?

On the other side of the ball, the offense scored at will. They scored in the red zone. They scored outside the red zone. They scored from their locker room. They’ve been on fire for weeks now, and they continued their roll last night. The O line controlled the play (and played most of the game with two backups), with one long drive after another. Brandon Jacobs (52 yards) and Ahmad Bradshaw (61 yards, two TDs) were effective. Eli Manning had time to text his brother while dropping back on most of his passes, and was all but perfect (19 for 26, 268 yards, three TDs, no picks). He set a career high with his 26^th touchdown pass. In his last three games, he’s thrown eight TD passes with only one interception. Last night, his passes were spread around to anyone and everyone. He might as well have been handing out Christmas presents. Steve Smith, Derek Hagan and Mario Manningham all caught TD passes.

The question is, do the Giants now have some momentum heading into the last two weeks of the season? Are they finding themselves? Or was this all due to the Redskins’ ineptitude? They still have to win their last two games with the Cowboys or Packers losing at least one to make the playoffs, but can the Giants be the hot team riding high into the postseason? Or, again, was it just the Redskins? And is it all too late? Here’s the schedule the rest of the way for the Giants, Packers and Cowboys:

Giants: home vs. Carolina / at Minnesota

Packers: home vs. Seattle / at Arizona

Cowboys: at Washington / home vs. Philadelphia

The last time the Giants racked up 45 or more points vs. the Skins was in 1968 at Yankee Stadium, winning 48-21. Fran Tarkenton was 9-16, throwing for 264 yards and two touchdowns. He also rushed for one himself. Homer Jones caught five passes for 179 yards, and caught 82- and 56-yard TD passes. Spider Lockhart picked off two passes, and ran one back 47 yards for a touchdown. And Pete Gogolak, playing against his brother Charlie, booted two field goals.

On Saturday night I was flipping between another Rangers loss and the Christmas classic It’s a Wonderful Life. Of course you can’t help but wonder, “What if George Bailey’s situation happened to me?” What if I were able to see the consequences of never being born? That thought lasted about a minute and a half, because everybody’s life would surely be better. My wife would have been able to marry a more successful, rich, interesting, well-rounded man instead of someone who has nothing but a monkey shooting a slap shot, a couple of empty beer cans and some old Rusty Staub highlights filling up his head. My daughter would have a normal father, one who doesn’t constantly quiz her on the proper French Canadian–accented way of saying the names Guy Lafleur and Gilbert Perrault. And nobody else’s life would be affected one way or the other.

But on that subject, what if, more importantly, James Dolan had never been born? The Isiah Thomas era would never have happened. Scandals would have been avoided. Millions of dollars wouldn’t have been wasted. Marv Albert would still be calling Knicks games. Glen Sather would be long gone, after the disasters he’s foisted on his fan base. Wade Redden, Michal Rozsival and Chris Drury would all be in Columbus or Nashville, anywhere but New York. Stephon Marbury? Wouldn’t have gotten a sniff of New York. Eddy Curry? Still in Chicago. Would a few mistakes have been made? Probably. But would competence have occasionally made an appearance at the Garden? Most likely. Instead, we’re stuck with the anti George Bailey. Dolan makes everything around him worse off, and on top of that, he keeps losing Zeke’s petals. And every time a bell rings, another horrible free-agent contract is signed. Of course, it makes more sense to imagine James Dolan as Mr. Potter (with the guy who should be running the Knicks and Rangers never having been born). And we’re all living in his slum – Dolansville.

Let’s see what each local team needs for Christmas after their respective performances this week (and yes, many of these involve time travel).

The Jets: They just need a chance. This week’s win over Tampa Bay was their third in a row and has propelled them into the playoff picture again, but they’re going to need help. The Broncos lead the wild card race at 8-5, while the Jets are one of four teams standing at 7-6. They have a tough schedule the rest of the way (Falcons, Colts, Bengals), but they’re still breathing.

The Giants: Dear Santa: Please, please let us not give up 45 points every game the rest of the way. Can we put some pressure on the QB this year? And can the secondary cover somebody – anybody? And if it’s possible can we stop fumbling the ball? And when the other team fumbles, can you remind us to pick up the ball? Thanks, and Merry Christmas, the Giants.

The Knicks: “We’re capable of going out there and beating anybody, and we’ve shown that, but we’re also capable of losing to anybody, so we’ve got to be ready at all times and ready to go.” – David Lee, a day or so before the losing to Charlotte. The Knicks need some consistency for Christmas (1-9, then 7-6, now 0-2) – and also the ability to travel back in time so they can replay that fourth quarter against the Bobcats and maybe rethink all those threes vs. the Bulls.

The Nets: Can they just get a win for Christmas? Come on, just one more.

The Mets: Let’s see . . . they need a left fielder, a catcher, some quality starters, a few relievers, maybe a first baseman and how about a new second baseman. Oh yeah, what they really need is a plan and a new GM. They weren’t in on the Roy Halladay sweepstakes, and like most interested teams, they didn’t want to go five years on John Lackey, so he wasn’t really in their plans either. And should they have spent $30 million on Randy Wolf? No. So they really aren’t “losing out” on all these players, and all the panic around town is a little over the top. But they should be overhauling their roster this winter; instead it looks like it will be just a little tinkering and tweaking. Ryota Igarashi is a start. And Jason Bay will probably be next. But do you trust Omar Minaya to make the right moves? He may be extremely optimistic, but Mets fans will most likely get a lump of coal in their stockings this year.

The Yankees: Sure, they need a left fielder (or center fielder if Curtis Granderson ends up in left), but they’re so loaded and rich they should be the one handing out the presents. They’re the richest team in Bedford Falls.

The Rangers: Christmas came early for the Blueshirts – Wade Redden was scratched (finally!), and the offense scored five goals. Now they just need to do that, oh, about every game. The real Christmas wish for the Rangers: Santa firing Glen Sather since Mr. Potter isn’t going to do it.

The Islanders: They just need time. They have the young talent and the will and hard work, so it looks like they’re on to something. Sure, they may have a clunker or two like the 7-1 loss to Florida, but they’re young and still learning. They, too, would probably like the gift of time travel to undo that Rick DiPietro contract. Sure, he may eventually give the Isles years of solid play in goal, but right now that’s looking like one of the worst contracts in NHL history. Oh, and Santa, please don’t let them go to Kansas City.

The Devils: The Devils have Lou Lamoriello. They don’t need Santa’s help with anything.