The Knicks won a game this week! And The Answer may be coming to New York (so the question must be: Will a desperate team do anything to keep their fans interested?). But with last Friday’s loss, the Knicks established the worst 10-game start in franchise history. Things could be a lot worse, though; here are some other bad starts throughout history that may help them feel better about themselves: The Hindenburg blew up over New Jersey on the first of its 10 scheduled round-trips between Europe and the United States, killing 36 people; the Titanic hit an iceberg and sunk four days into its maiden voyage; William Henry Harrison died of a cold one month into his presidency in 1841; Wally Backman lasted four days as manager of the Arizona Diamondbacks before he was unceremoniously shown the door; Gilligan’s three-hour tour got off to an inauspicious start, getting stranded on a deserted island for 15 years, until the castaways were miraculously rescued, followed by them buying the island but almost losing it in an evil scam until they were helped out of the jam by the Harlem Globetrotters; Richie Cunningham’s brother Chuck on Happy Days appeared in only two episodes in the first season and was never heard from again; the Seattle Pilots existed for one measly year before moving to Milwaukee; and my career selling rodeo tickets over the phone lasted two days before I woke up and came to my senses. The lesson in all this for the Knicks is that they could explode in a fireball over New Jersey at any moment, sink to the bottom of the ocean taking Leonardo DiCaprio with them or be written out of the NBA altogether like Chuck Cunningham was. The best case scenario for the team: The Harlem Globetrotters come to the Garden and save their ass.

That takes care of the Knicks; now let’s look at the other local teams and we’ll put fun, convenient labels on them to boot:

An Efficient Machine

Devils: Their nine-game road winning streak (one short of tying the NHL record) and eight-game overall winning streak both ended on Monday night in Philly on Dave Schultz Night, as he was inducted into the Flyers Hall of Fame. Is there any significance or special meaning to that? Schultz was the personification of the brawling 1970s, and holds the all-time single-season record for penalty minutes, with 472 in 1974-’75. Isn’t it about time that somebody started a Hockey Goon Hall of Fame? (Trivia: Schultz’s brother appeared in Slap Shot as an opposing player.) Jacques Lemaire and the Devils are the epitome of defensive hockey. They rank 21^st in goals per game, at 2.56, but their league-leading 2.07 goals against average has them in first place in the Atlantic Division (despite two losses in a row). Lemaire spent much of his playing days learning how to play defense by centering a line with Guy Lafleur and Steve Shutt, as he had to backcheck his way through many a game, while those two sharp shooters poured in goal after goal.

Surprise Team

Islanders: After getting off to a rocky start, the Islanders are one of the surprise teams of the NHL. That’s what hard work will do for you. John Tavares is living up to his billing (19 points), while Matt Moulson is turning into the find of the century (18 points). They’re going in the opposite direction than the Rangers, who they’ve caught in the standings, both totaling 23 points.

Sinking (But it’s a Long Season)

Rangers: The good times (7-1 start) are over (4-8-1 since). They can’t score, they’re not tough enough, they’re too easy to play against, they take too many penalties, they have too many defensive breakdowns and they’re shorthanded at center with no replacements in sight. Can they recover or is the makeup of the roster too much to overcome? Maybe John Tortorella should start crying. That seems to be the coaching technique du jour.

Sinking (But There’s Still Hope)

Giants: They had their best week in over a month, with Dallas, Philly and even Atlanta (if you’re starting to keep track of the wild card race) all losing. The Giants haven’t looked this good since they defeated Oakland. The key to their success, of course, was not actually playing a game. Their best strategy from here on out may be to not take the field at all. Can you decline the rest of your schedule the way you can decline a penalty and take your chances on your present record?

Sinking (And They’re Running Out of Time)

Jets: The Jets players are making their coach cry. But poor clock management, wasted timeouts, a plethora of turnovers and a defense that can’t make the big stop are making Jet fans cry. The team has the swagger part down; it’s just the beating the opponent part that’s troubling them. Mark Sanchez has a prepared statement all set to go for his next postgame press conference on why he entered a hot dog eating contest at halftime of their game up in New England on Sunday.

Disaster

Nets: The Nets are doing even worse than the Knicks, and are planning to jump back to the ABA before they have a chance to go 0-82. They’re hoping to put a schedule together and play against the Spirits of St, Louis, San Diego Conquistadors, Virginia Squires, Memphis Tams and Kentucky Colonels once again and regain their dominance in that defunct league. They play the Knicks on Saturday (if they can scrounge up enough players). Will the world explode if one of those teams actually wins the game?

The Yankees win the World Series and as soon as you can say the words “Johnny Damon wants a four-year contract” the rest of the New York–area teams go down the tubes. They went a combined 5-11 this past week. It must be a hangover. Are all the local teams riding on the Yankees’ coattails and going to all of their parties? It’s also possible that many of the area teams just stink. The Knicks and Nets went a combined 0-7 this week, and are 1-16 for the year, for instance. It was only the always-good Devils that skewed the combined record by going 4-0, and they barely count as a local team.

Here’s a day-by-day look at the past seven days.

Friday: The injury-riddled Nets lost to Philly, which kept them winless for the season, and the Devils beat the Islanders in a continuation of the New Jersey–Long Island War of 1801, in which it was so cold and icey out during the Battle of Massapequa that both sides just gave up after 15 minutes and vowed to resume fighting “when they invent the game of hockey and the Colorado Rockies move to New Jersey.” The big highlight of the evening was, of course, the Knicks game. And, as expected, the Knicks were humiliated by LeBron James and the Cavs. They fought back bravely at the end, but who were they kidding? The game was secondary, though, as the real story was: Will LeBron come to New York next year? The Knicks owe it to their fans after shipping Walt Frazier off to Cleveland as compensation for signing Jim Cleamons and forcing him to wear those yellow, orange and red stripey uniforms. Here’s an argument for both sides of the LeBron to New York or LeBron stays in Cleveland debate.

5 Reasons Why LeBron James Should Come to New York:

1. On his days off, he can go to Rudy’s and take advantage of the free hot dogs.

2. New York City is the talcum powder capital of the world.

3. He should to get out of town before Eric Mangini’s losing rubs off on him.

4. He can fulfill his lifelong dream of playing in a softball league on Randall’s Island during the summer.

5. Drew Carey will finally have to move out of his basement.

5 Reasons Why LeBron James Should Stay in Cleveland:

1. There’s better oompah music in Cleveland.

2. It’s closer to his vacation home in Toledo.

3. If he comes to New York, Braylon Edwards will have to be traded back to Cleveland.

4. The only Knick players worth having as teammates have long retired.

5. He gets to hang out with Willie Mays Hayes.

Saturday: The Rangers lost the game to Calgary and lost two centers to boot. Chris Drury was knocked upside the head with a cheap shot but his teammates just let it slide. The Knicks continued their losing ways, falling to Milwaukee, 102-97. “We got outplayed so badly in the first quarter, it really didn’t matter what happened after that,” stated David Lee. It’s looking like you can probably say that about the whole season. The Nets lost. Again. That Russian billionaire might want his money back at this point. The surging Devils beat Ottawa, 3-2, and the scrappy Islanders defeated Atlanta, 6-3. How fun would it be to have three top-notch hockey teams in the area? How good would it be to just have three hockey teams in the area? The Isles can’t go to Kansas City, can they?

Sunday: The Giants suffered a crushing loss. Sure, the Chargers have pretty cool helmets but that’s no excuse for the Jints to lose. Their defense is just not the same as previous seasons. Where have you gone, Steve Spagnuolo? Giants fans turn their lonely eyes to you. And the offensive game-calling was conservative, playing not to lose instead of to win. As my daughter once told me after a heated game of Go Fish, “YOU PLAY . . . TO WIN . . . THE GAME!”

Monday: The Knicks lost a heartbreaker to Utah. It was the Toney Douglas show, but he just couldn’t make that last shot. Will he soon be taking over for Chris Duhon? In better news, Brian Leetch, Lou Lamoriello and John Davidson were all enshrined in the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Tuesday: There weren’t any local games, so nobody could lose on this day. Mark Teixeira and Derek Jeter won Gold Gloves today, though. No one can argue with the wizardry of Teixeira at first, and Jeter had one of his best seasons on defense. In the past, Sabremetricians were rolling over in their graves when Jeter would win a Gold Glove. And the ones that weren’t dead were rolling their eyes. And the ones that were wearing eye patches were shrugging their shoulders. And the ones who had their shoulders amputated due to too much shrugging, well, they have bigger problems than Jeter’s fielding. Speaking of big problems, a svelte Eddy Curry returned to practice. He lost weight easily once he realized the diet he was on for the past year wasn’t working. He had been trying one of those celebrity fad diets: James Gandolfini’s All Little Italy All the Time Diet.

Wednesday: The Knicks had a big lead but lost to Atlanta. Douglas had his second straight 20-plus point game, after being inserted into the starting lineup as the shooting guard. The Nets announced before their game vs. Philly that they would be changing their name to the Washington Generals, and on cue they went out and lost. The Devils just keep on winning, though, beating Anaheim. And the Islanders scored a late goal to send the game into OT, but ultimately lost in a marathon shootout to Washington. Both teams ran out of players so Guy Charron had to come out of retirement to score the game-winner for the Caps.

Thursday: The Devils moved into first place with their victory last night in Pittsburgh, which was their ninth straight road win to start the season. One more ties the NHL record. And the wrong-way Rangers keep going backwards. Marian Gaborik scored as usual, and they got two goals from the center position playing with their makeshift lineup, but bad defense, too many penalties and not enough effort did them in again.

All anybody’s talking about in the New York area is the Islanders’ first regulation win over the Rangers (though Jimmy Rollins predicted it on Monday). You can’t walk down the street without somebody stopping you and asking all about the hockey team from Long Island. Will they get on a roll? Is John Tavares the real deal? Islanders, Islanders, Islanders! Everybody’s forgetting all about the bad start of the two local basketball teams, and does anybody even know that the Yankees are in the World Series this year? All the Islanders-all-the-time talk is really taking the pressure off the other local teams.

Here at Hot Stove, we know that the Yankees are in the World Series again, as you can’t get anything by us. The Bronx Bombers paid their $200 million entry fee into the Series, setting up a rematch of the 1950 Fall Classic. And with so many off-days, it seems like there are about 59 years between games in this postseason. In the Series we’ve already seen Cliff Lee nonchalantly put the Bombers’ bats to sleep, and in game two the Yankees proved once again to be Pedro Martinez’s daddy. After the game, Martinez also claimed that Mark Teixeira was his uncle, Hideki Matsui a distant cousin and Jorge Posada was his Aunt Lucille. People in New York may not care for the Phillies (or Eagles or Sixers or Flyers), but not everything from Philly is bad. They did give us two of America’s greatest cultural achievements (no, not Chase Utley’s hair): Cheesesteaks and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Of course, the mayors from the two cities made their usual bet on the Series. Many ideas were tossed around on what the bet would consist of: If the Yankees lose, New York City would change its name to Mike Schmidtville, if Philly loses it would change to Little Smellier New York; if the Phils win NYC would have to replace the Statue of Liberty with a 300-foot statue of the Philly Phanatic, if the Yanks win Philadelphia has to tear down its statue of Rocky and put one up of Clue Haywood; if the Phillies win Pedro Martinez gets to slam the Yankee coach of his choice to the ground once more for old time’s sake, if the Yankees win A.J. Burnett gets to smash a pie filled with stuff fished out of the East River in Shane Victorino’s face. They finally settled on the losing city just disappearing from the face of the earth.

In local football news, the Jets and Giants beat Oakland this season by a combined score of 82-7. The Jets kept things simple for Mark Sanchez, who spent the game eating hot dogs in the huddle while watching his running backs go wild. Teams instantly get back on track when playing the Raiders, but can it work like that in real life, also? If your marriage is on the rocks, can you spend the day with the Oakland Raiders and you’ll be on your way to a second honeymoon? Failing out of high school? Will three hours with the Raiders get those grades back up and you’ll find yourself enrolling in Harvard? If your life is falling apart because of an alcohol problem, will running around the football field for an afternoon with the Raiders put everything back into place? Are the Oakland Raiders the cure for all of our problems?

Player of the Week

Shonn Greene: The Jets rookie stepped in when Leon Washington was lost for the season, and gained a whopping 144 yards and scored two touchdowns. But how many spellings of the name ‘Sean’ do we need? Shonn, Chone, Shean, Sean, Shaun, Shawn. Stop the madness.

Runners Up

A.J. Burnett: The Yanks needed Burnett to come up big, and he was clutch in game two, throwing seven strong innings and outdueling Pedro.

Mariano Rivera: After getting a two-inning save to close out the Angels on Sunday, Rivera did it again last night to save game two of the World Series (though he got a little help from the umps).

Mark Teixeira/Hideki Matsui: Each blasted a homer to right, which was enough offense for the Bronx Bombers. But what’s happening to Alex Rodriguez? 0-8 with six strikeouts in the Series? Uh-oh.

Thomas Jones: Another day at the office for Jones – 121 yards and a TD.

Jets Offensive Line: They only let up one sack and have blocked their way to being the first team to have back-to-back 300 rushing yards since the 1975 Bills, who, of course, featured O.J. Simpson. Let’s just hope that none of these linemen become A.C. Cowlings to Thomas Jones’ O.J.

Calvin Pace: The busy linebacker had three sacks, seven tackles and two forced fumbles. But does it really count if it’s against Oakland?

Andy Pettitte: The veteran lefty notched his record-setting 16^th postseason win, while clinching the ALCS for the Yanks on Sunday.

Kevin Boss: The Giants tight end had three catches, but the one late in the game when he was almost knocked unconscious with a helmet to helmet hit earns him a spot here. That’s one tough dude.

Jeff Tambellini: The Islanders went 1-0-2, this week, and Tambellini picked up three goals and an assist along the way.

Brook Lopez: The Nets big man scored 27 points, hauled in 15 rebounds and blocked five shots, but the Nets still collapsed in Minnesota.

Marian Gaborik: The Ranger star had five points in two games, and left a gaping hole in the lineup when he missed Wednesday’s game.

R.I.P. Bill Chadwick: Legendary Rangers announcer The Big Whistle died on Saturday, at the age of 94. He was colorful, loud and fun. I ranked him #7 on my painstakingly non-researched post of the best local announcers of the last 40 years. He was originally a referee and invented the hand signals that refs still use today. I was watching the Rangers game when his death was announced, which reminds me of the time when I was a kid and was viewing the back-to-back Hogan’s Heroes episodes that channel 5 used to show from 11 PM–midnight, when the news team cut in with the startling report that the show’s star Bob Crane was murdered. I instantly blamed Colonel Klink. Coincidence? Synchronicity? The ghost of Bob Crane has haunted me ever since, though. I constantly wake up to find radios in my coffee pot, tunnels built under my house and Lebeau’s strudel sitting on my kitchen counter.

Schmuck of the Week

Eli Manning: The Giants QB may have been over-thinking things a little too much by changing plays at the line of scrimmage on every down, taking two delay of game penalties along the way and throwing three picks. Or was he listening to the Yankees game in the radio in his helmet?  At any rate, Manning had trouble hooking up with his receivers all game long and never seemed to solve Arizona’s defense.

The Giants and Jets both beat division archrivals this past week. And both are 2-0 and sitting atop their respective divisions. The Giants went down to Texas and paid the Cowboys back for beating them in the first-ever game at the Meadowlands in 1976 (Dallas won, 24-14). Of course, Giants Stadium didn’t receive quite the same amount of hoopla as Cowboys Stadium has gotten this week. Here are some reviews from 33 years ago when the Giants home first opened:

“It just looks like a regular football stadium. Where is the 60-yard JumboTron? Where are the go-go dancers? What do they plan to do here, just play football?”

“Where do you put 78,000 angry New Jersey residents to watch Doug Kotar gain 500 yards a season? The new Giants Stadium, that’s where.”

“The new stadium is a modern marvel, but can they do something about that swampy smell?”

“It just goes to show you the power of the Mob that they got this stadium built all the way out in the middle of nowhere in Jersey just to cover up Jimmy Hoffa’s body.”

“It’s only been open for a week, but I think it’s sinking.”

“The House That Craig Morton Built.”

As for the Jets, they backed up all their trash talk about the Patriots and gave them a whuppin’. Rex Ryan famously said he didn’t come to New York to kiss Bill Belichick’s rings and on Sunday he proved it. Here are some other things Ryan didn’t come here to kiss: Suzy Kolber, Leon Washington, Ashley Dupre, Fredo Corleone, Donald Trump’s hair, KISS and Belichick’s ratty old sweatshirt (why doesn’t he wear that thing anymore? Maybe that’s why the Pats aren’t invincible these days – it was all in the hoody).

The beauty of living and/or working in New York is that you never know what celebrity or personality you’re going to see on the street. When I left my office on my lunch break on Monday, who did I spot standing out on the sidewalk? The one and only Mr. Met (and no, he wasn’t panhandling). I can be angry at the Mets for being fundamentally challenged, for their lack of effort, for mismanagement of the team, for their boneheaded decison-making, for re-signing Oliver Perez, for counting on Carlos Delgado and for now going through the motions as they finish out the season, but I can never, ever be mad at Mr. Met.

The Yankees beat their nemesis, the Angels, two out of three this week, and clinched a playoff berth on Tuesday night. They celebrated by forcing Kate Hudson to reenact all her scenes from Almost Famous in the locker room after the game. The role of Russell Hammond went to Alex Rodriguez, Jorge Posada played Jeff Bebe, CC Sabathia was young William Miller and Joe Girardi portrayed the mother.

And the Nets were bought by Russian billionaire playboy Mikhail Prokhorov, which should ensure that the franchise will finally move to Brooklyn, probably in 2011 – unless the team has a bad season in which they’ll all be sent to Siberia.

Player of the Week

Mario Manningham: The Giants second-year receiver had 10 catches for 150 yards and added a TD reception to the mix. It’s only been two good games, but the Giants may have found a star receiver. His ability to elude tacklers after a catch is impressing everyone, except Flozell Adams, that is, who said: “Big deal, he wouldn’t be able to do that if I were on the field. I’d just trip and kick him every time he touched the ball.”

Runners Up

Darrelle Revis: The Jet corner shut down Randy Moss (but, like everybody else in the world, is incapable of shutting him up) and intercepted a pass. He led the Jets D in a dominating performance, as they made Tom Brady look like a regular normal struggling quarterback. The Jets swarming defense still hasn’t given up a TD this year.

Eli Manning: Mr. Cool did it again. He drove the Giants down field for the game-winning drive as calmly and efficiently as the Mets lose games. He also threw for 330 yards, with two TD’s and no picks.

Steve Smith: He also hauled in 10 passes (for 134 yards), which made it the first time in Giants history that two receivers had 10 catches or more in the same game. You mean Don Herrmann and Bob Grim never did that?

Mark Sanchez: He overcame a slow start to get his second NFL victory in two starts. He outplayed certain Hall-of-Famer Brady. Not bad for a rookie.

Kenny Phillips: The good news: The Giants safety had two INT’s and helped to make Tony Romo’s day miserable. The bad news: He’s out for the season. That’s a big blow for the Jints.

CC Sabathia/A.J. Burnett/Mark Teixeira: Sabathia threw seven innings without giving up an earned run in the Yankees win on Saturday, Burnett struck out 11 and let in two runs in the team’s win on Wednesday and Teixeira batted .435 for the week with two long balls and six RBI’s.

Luis Castillo/John Maine/Tim Redding: It’s slim pickin’s for the Mets these days as the only team they can beat is the Washington Nationals. Castillo hit .454, Maine pitched five scoreless innings on Sunday and Redding threw seven strong innings on Saturday, only allowing one earned run.

Schmuck of the Week

Joba Chamberlain: Are the Yankees ruining Joba or is he doing it all on his own? He’s 0-2 with a 7.88 ERA since the latest Joba Rules have been imposed. He gave up seven runs, six hits and three walks in three innings on Sunday against the Mariners. “I take a positive out of everything,” he said after the game, as he swiped a TV and a couple of ashtrays from the visitor’s locker room.

Here we go again. This week we’ll have another all-schmuck edition and just make it a team effort. The locals were the dregs again this week, going a combined 4-13-2. Other highlights: We had the Sean Avery vs. Martin Brodeur heavyweight bout of the century (Avery 1, Brodeur 0). Citi Field and Yankee Stadium III open for business tonight (well, Citi kind opened already with the St. Johns/Georgetown game). And Sports Illustrated has somewhat bizarrely picked the Mets to win the World Series. That’s really going out on a limb. Sure, they have a good team, but is the magazine aware of what happened to them the last two seasons? Now Carlos Beltran can declare, “Tell Jimmy Rollins we’re the team to jinx this year.” Throw another log on the fire – collapse, choke, jinx. I think Nostradamus picked the Mets to win the wild card this season back in 1555. He also predicted John Maine would round into shape, but Francisco Rodriguez would crack a rib during one of his post-save celebrations. Nobody getes a prize this week, because schmucks just don’t deserve one.

Winner

The Nets: We really could have picked any of the local teams as the Schmucks of the Week, but we’ll go with the Nets because of how they lost. In their games against Minnesota and Milwaukee it just looked like they flat-out quit. And that’s no way to act when you’re a professional. Lawrence Frank is now burning up on the hot seat. They bounced back with a win against Detroit but that doesn’t make those other games disappear. Playoffs? They put the final nail in the coffin on those dreams.

Runners Up

The Devils: What’s going on? They went 0-3-1 this week and are in the midst of a six-game losing streak. Ever since Martin Brodeur broke the all-time wins record, the team has gone into the tank. Is Lou Lamoriello getting an itchy trigger finger? This is his favorite time of year to do some coach firing. They would have been the winners (losers?) this week but they only went from second to third in the conference standings and have a lock on the playoffs.

The Rangers: They’re in the midst of a playoff push and went 1-2 this week. Sure they looked great against the Devils, but Brodeur always brings out the best in them. In the other two games? Too many mistakes in the third period cost them both games. Now they’re no cinch to even make the playoffs.

The Knicks: The Knicks went 1-3 this week, but hope was running out fast for them anyway.

The Islanders: As for the Islanders . . . ah, who cares . . .

The local coaches were in the spotlight this week. Tom Renney was sent packing, with his opposite, John Tortarella, coming in to replace him. Joe Girardi is already on the hot seat before the season even starts. He took a page out of Tom Coughlin’s book by taking the Yankees to a pool hall to distract them from what a poor job he did last year. And Jerry Manuel is running his first spring training with the Mets, and is doing it his way, which means unconventionally and wackily. This week’s prize for the Hot Stove Player of the Week: A copy of Tom Renney’s upcoming book How I Made Petr Prucha a Healthy Scratch All Season Because of a $10 Bet With Perry Pearn.

Winner

Devin Harris: The Nets point guard made the shot of the year, when he threw in a buzzer beater at half court to beat Philadelphia on Monday (and wasn’t he fouled on his first attempt anyway?). He also had 39 points and eight assists in that game. He followed that up by piling up 42 points in the Nets win over Chicago on Wednesday. He’s willing the Nets into the playoff race.

Runners Up

Harry Howell/Andy Bathgate: The two hockey legends finally had their numbers retired on Sunday. The 2009 Rangers could sure use a couple of players like these guys.

Nate Robinson: There he goes again. He scored 26, 18, 41 and 32 points in the Knicks two wins and two losses this past week. He single-handedly beat Indiana with his 41 points on Monday.

Brandon Jacobs: The Giants big running back was locked up for four years at $25 million. Big Blue used the franchise player tag to buy more time for negotiations, and it worked out beautifully. No hold outs, whining or tantrums.

Martin Brodeur: He’s back, and recorded a shutout in his return. The Devils shot to first place without him, though. Hmm, maybe it’s the system after all . . . nah.

Schmuck of the Week

Stephon Marbury: The longtime loser was finally kicked out of town. He was on the Knicks for parts of six seasons, which is twice as long as any other team could stand him. The Knicks made the playoffs once while he was on the team, which, of course, is not all his fault. There was plenty of blame to spread around during his tenure in New York. But nothing’s ever his fault, is it? He gets a special award by also being named the Schmuck of the Last Half Decade.

There were only two sports played this week, but the New York area is blessed with five teams in those sports (though the words ‘blessed’ and ‘Islanders’ haven’t really gone together in 26 years or so). It’s been a roller-coaster week for the locals: The Knicks beat Boston but lost to the lowly Oklahoma City Supersonics. (Could they have picked a more craptastic name than Thunder? The move to OK had Jack Sikma rolling over in his grave – well, he’s not actually dead yet, but he rolled over in his sleep. Shawn Kemp was so distraught about the Supersonics leaving Seattle that he hasn’t fathered a child in four months.) The Rangers lost to Washington, beat Pittsburgh, then lost to Montreal. The Devils won two and then lost two. The Islanders and Nets were the only consistent teams – the Isles consistently bad (0-4) and the Nets good (3-1). Meanwhile, the Giants are getting ready for the throwdown in the Meadowlands against Philly, and the Jets are getting coaches fired just for talking to them. The prize for this week’s Hot Stove Player of the Week is a chance to appear on the greatest TV show ever made: Superstars, which is coming back to ABC this summer.

Winner

Vince Carter: The Nets guard beat Atlanta on Friday night with a buzzer-beating three (and scored 18 points). And he picked up the slack in their last three games with Devin Harris out, by scoring 20, with six assists and nine rebounds in a loss to Miami on Saturday, putting up a 29/7/9 line in the victory over Sacramento on Monday, and 29/12/6 in the win over the Memphis Grizzlies on Wednesday. (Speaking of names - the Grizzlies? They couldn’t have made an effort to find a better name? Did they want to keep the Vancouver Grizzlies’ tradition alive? How about going old school, with the Memphis Tams?) Carter has led the Nets to three home wins in a row for the first time this season.

Runners Up

Yi Jianlian: The ginormous Chinese center had his first back-to-back 20 point games for the Nets in the team’s last two wins. He scored 22 with 13 rebounds on Monday and 20/6 on Wednesday.

David Lee: The fan favorite is a double/double machine, putting up 26 points and 11 rebounds on Friday, and then 14/14, 14/13 and 13/15 in the Knicks’ next three games. If only they can win some of them.

Petr Prucha: After being benched for much of the season (DNP/CSD – did not play/coach’s stupid decision), Prucha has a four-game point streak going in his first four games back, and is one of the few Rangers who consistently plays with passion and aggression.

Anti-Fans of the Week

NHL Fans: Four Canadiens (and are they Ken Dryden, Guy Lafleur, Guy Lapointe and Yvan Cournoyer? Umm, no), two Penguins, three Ducks and three Blackhawks? Come on. No Alex Ovechkin? No Bruins? No Sharks? No Red Wings? The All-Star game is a snoozefest anyway, but the ballot stuffing was out of control this year. Here are some ideas to spice up the game:

1. Play the game in Mystery, Alaska, against the locals.

2. Add the Hanson Brothers to the game.

3. Set Jarkko Ruutu loose on a biting spree during the game.

4. All the players on the losing team are killed.

5. Have only two players total in the game: Sean Avery vs. Martin Brodeur.

The end of the week is finally here. The Giants won again, but the Jets were a disappointment, holding off the New York-New York Super Bowl talk for now. The Nets are a surprising 9-8, the Knicks are a surprising 8-10, Stephon Marbury is surprisingly still here, Plaxico Burress is not-surprisingly gone and old friend Sean Avery surprised nobody with his “sloppy seconds” comment. He’s now on his fourth team in eight years. What does that make him? This week’s prize for the winner is a Glock, a gun permit, a holster and lessons at a shooting range.

Winner 

Devin Harris: Sure, he had a clunker (along with the whole team) on Wednesday vs. Washington (18 points, two assists), but he led the Nets to wins this week with dominating performances against Utah (34 points, six assists) on Friday and Phoenix (47 points, eight assists) on Sunday, where he schooled Steve Nash. He’s sixth in the league in scoring, at 24.8 points per game, and he’s making people remember that there is an actual professional basketball team still playing in New Jersey.

Runners Up 

Eli Manning: The Giants QB proved once again that his team can win any which way the opposition chooses. If they stuff the box and stop the run, Manning will take them apart through the air. He finished 21 for 34, with 305 yards, one TD and one INT.

Chris Duhon: On Friday night, the Knicks point guard set a franchise record with 22 assists (breaking the previous mark of 21, set by Richie Guerin 50 years ago), and added 12 points in the team’s win over Golden State. He threw in 23 points (with 13 assists) in the Knicks’ loss to the Blazers on Tuesday, and by Wednesday was completely worn out (six points, four assists) against the Cavs. He’s playing through back spasms, but doesn’t have a choice – the Knicks are playing every game with only four players.

David Lee: With a depleted lineup, Lee’s getting his chance to play monster minutes and is putting up big numbers, too – 37 points and 21 rebounds on Friday, 19/12 on Tuesday and 16/16 on Wednesday.

Thomas Jones: The AFC’s leading rusher was pretty much the only bright spot in the Jets’ dismal loss to Denver. He rambled for 138 yards on 16 carries, and had two big touchdown runs.

Justin Tuck: The Giants defensive end led the D by making Jason Campbell look like Jason Campbell, and holding Clinton Portis to 22 yards rushing. Tuck sacked Campbell twice, and added three QB hits and six tackles.

Anti-Player of the Week 

Plaxico Burress:  This is an easy choice. When you shoot yourself, you’re the Anti-Player of the Week. We’ve had one player who refuses to play and another who shoots himself. What’s next? A local player who first refuses to play, then bumblingly shoots himself while accidentally stabbing a teammate, who then falls on and kills a litter of puppies, and finishes it off by unintentionally setting the Empire State Building on fire? That’s just about the only thing that can top the actions of Marbury and Burress.

They loved the nightlife. They loved to boogie. They loved the ladies. They dressed with style. They had Fu Manchus. They had muttonchops. They were cooler than Fonzie. They were cooler than Coolio. They were cooler than LL Cool J. They were cooler than a pack of Kools. Here are the top 10 hippest, coolest New York sports dudes of the past 40 years.

10. Mike Piazza: The former catcher brought his mullet from LA to New York and turned the Mets into winners. Along the way he dated (and married) Playboy playmates, played the drums and appeared on Baywatch. He was California cool (even though he’s from Pennsylvania) and had the mustache to prove it.

9. Derek Jeter: The Yankees shortstop is going through Hollywood actresses like David Wells going through a bag of White Castle burgers. He may be bland, cool in a boy band type of way and make really annoying commercials, but chicks love him.

8. Rod Gilbert: He was a French-Canadian playboy out on the prowl in Manhattan. The Rangers right-winger scored 406 goals and was the Joe Namath of hockey. He was savoir faire on a pair of skates.

7. Reggie Jackson: He drove Rolls-Royces. He had a candy bar named after him. The word ‘superstar’ was invented for him. He stood at home plate and watched his home runs clear the fence. He was the straw that stirred the drink. He contemplated the magnitude of being Reggie Jackson. He loved to talk. About himself. He was a cool cat among cool cats of the ’70s.

6. Keith Hernandez: Being one of the greatest fielding first basemen in the history of baseball is just a footnote. He dated Cheryl Tiegs. He dated Elaine Benes. First basemen around the league all started smoking just to be like him. He’s Keith Hernandez. Hey, his mustache alone could make this list.

5. Earl Monroe: Earl the Pearl was poetry in motion on the basketball court. He turned the game of basketball into a Charlie Parker song. He faked opposing players out of their jocks and could out-cool anybody in a cool contest. They didn’t call him Black Jesus for nothing.

4. Lee Mazzilli: The Mets center fielder was Chachi, The Fonz, Tony Danza and Sly Stallone rolled into one. He was the Italian Stallion from Brooklyn. Every girl in the Tri-State area had his poster on her wall. He wore the tightest uniform in the major leagues and was thrilling the 8,000 fans that were cramming into Shea in the late ’70s with his basket catches. Aaaayyyy…

3. Julius Erving: Dr. J won two championships in his three years with the New York Nets. He wasn’t just the star of the ABA; he was the ABA. The slam dunk contest was invented just for him. He had the coolest Afro. He had the coolest nickname. He was just stone cold cool.

2. Walt Frazier: Clyde was the coolest dresser on the planet. In his own words he was stylin’ and profilin’. The word ‘smooth’ doesn’t do him justice―you’d have to throw a lot more ‘o’s’ in that adjective to accurately describe him. On the court, he’d transfix opposing players with his muttonchops, steal the ball and swoop in for an easy layup. He was too suave and cool to dunk.

1. Joe Namath: The guarantee. The Fu Manchu. The pantyhose. The fur coats. The women. Broadway Joe wins the coolest dude in New York award. He had his own TV show (The Joe Namath Show), he owned his own club (Bachelors III), he starred in movies (C.C. and Company), he guest-hosted The Tonight Show, he appeared on The Simpsons and The Brady Bunch. He was cool before cool was cool.

Here are the answers to yesterday’s quiz.

1. When the Nets first joined the ABA for the 1967-’68 season they were called the New Jersey Americans.

2. Kevin Loughery was the Nets coach when they joined the NBA in 1976.

3. Buck Williams has played in the most career games for the Nets, with 635.

4. Richard Jefferson has the second most career points for the Nets, with 8,507.

5. Jason Kidd has made the most career three-pointers, with 813.

6. The single-season points-per-game record is held by Rick Barry, who averaged 31.5 points in 1971-’72.

7. Second on the list for career assists with the Nets is Bill Melchionni, with 3,044.

8. Dr. J played three seasons for the Nets, 1973-’74 to 1975-’76.

9. George Johnson holds the franchise record for blocked shots, with 863.

10. The single-season record for rebounds per game is held by Jayson Williams, when he averaged 13.6 in 1997-’98.