So it’s Wednesday morning and it’s just another routine day – I’m tooling around my house on my Hoveround like always, making myself one of those healthy breakfast shakes made of Lucky Charms, chocolate milk and a half dozen Yodels, when I suddenly realize it’s one of our great holidays – St. Patrick’s Day. With drinking, and uh, even more drinking, what’s not to like? Everybody grabs a pint of Guinness or a green beer, sings “Dirty Old Town,” wears their “Kiss me I’m Irish” shirt and at least pretends to be of Gaelic persuasion. I, on the other hand, am German, so I throw on my “Don’t kiss me I’m German – that would be inefficient, emotional and unsanitary” T-shirt, and head off to work. I’m not the only one around these parts who wears a variation on the “Kiss me I’m Irish” shirt, though; here are some like-themed T-shirts seen worn by local athletes past and present on St. Patty’s Day:

“Kiss me – I’m not Irish, but there’s a 98% chance you’ll end up pregnant” – Antonio Cromartie

“I’m Derek Jeter; you’ll kiss me when I tell you to kiss me” – Derek Jeter

“Kiss me, but you’ll have to wait until I’m finished making out with myself in the mirror” – Alex Rodriguez

“I’m Keith Hernandez; I won the 1979 MVP; I can kiss anybody I want” – Keith Hernandez

“Kiss me, I’m thin now and don’t have those old barbecue sauce stains on my face anymore” – Rex Ryan

“Kiss me and you’ll get the best fist pump of your life” – Joba Chamberlain

“Kiss me but don’t smudge my goggles” – Frankie Rodriguez

“Kiss me I’m Irish – really, I am, I’ll even introduce you to the Dropkick Murphys” – Daniel Murphy

“Um, yeah, ya know, ok, kiss me, know what I’m sayin’?” – Omar Minaya

“Holy Cow! She kissed me, White! Can you believe that?! I’m not even Irish, I’m Italian. Anybody who wants to kiss me must be a huckleberry! I hope Cora doesn’t find out about this. Unbelievable!” – Phil Rizzuto

“Kiss me – oh come on, I’m not that creepy, am I?” – John Sterling

“Kiss me, Roger Clemens, oh please God, let him kiss me” – Suzyn Waldman

“Kiss me . . . oh, my knee!” – Tracy McGrady

“Kiss me . . . oh my knee!” – Rick DiPietro

“Kiss me . . . oh my knee! – Carlos Beltran

“Kiss me – and then get in the truck” – Stephon Marbury

“Kiss me, no really, I’ll kiss anybody, come on, I mean it” – Steve Phillips

“I already kissed her” – Sean Avery

“Don’t even think about it” – John Tortorella

Here are the top stories in the world of New York sports this past week:

There’s Only One LT: The Jets signed LaDainian Tomlinson to a two-year contract to replace Thomas Jones. Shouldn’t they have just re-signed Jones? He’s actually more durable and more productive than the former Charger these days. But maybe Tomlinson will work out better as a backup and third-down option. The real controversy, though, involves his stolen nickname. There’s only one LT around here, and we all know that’s Lawrence Taylor. So Tomlinson better start coming up with ideas for a new nickname, because the real LT can eat shrimps like him for breakfast.

Port St. Lucie Roundup: What do you know − Oliver Perez pitched eight innings this week and only gave up two runs. Does that mean there’s a glimmer of hope for him yet? Johan Santana bounced back in his second outing of the spring, to throw four shutout innings. Mike Pelfrey also pitched four quality innings, while mainly using his secondary pitches. John Maine, though, showed his Kevin McReynolds−like passion by admitting he “wasn’t into it” when he came into a game in relief and got lit up. Jon Niese and Fernando Nieve haven’t really impressed anybody so far in the battle for the fifth spot, but Rod Barajas would disagree with that assessment, as he compared Niese to Cliff Lee and Jon Lester. We’ll settle for an Al Jackson comparison and a healthy season. But is Hisanori Takahashi squeezing his way into the fifth-starter conversation? Frankie Rodriguez made his spring debut on Monday and blew the Cardinals hitters away on seven pitches. The Jenrry Mejia debate is heating up as he continues to shine. And Angel Pagan got us all excited for the season when he provided some fireworks with a walk-off two-run homer on Monday.

Tampa Roundup: CC Sabathia performed better than his previous two outings (4.1 IP, three runs, three hits), as his mechanics are starting to fall into place. Andy Pettitte and Chan Ho Park made their first appearances of the spring this week. As for the battle for the fifth spot in the rotation, is dark-horse Alfredo Aceves taking the lead? Joba Chamberlain has pretty much stunk but pitched better on Wednesday, while Phil Hughes has been excellent but not as good as Aceves, who has 0.90 ERA this spring (though it’s only spring training of course, so take all the stats with a grain of salt). A bullpen of Mariano Rivera (who made his spring debut on Tuesday), Chamberlain and Hughes doesn’t look too bad, though.

Now They Start Winning: The Islanders upset the Devils, 4-2, on Saturday, defeated the Maple Leafs, 4-1, on Sunday and kicked Vancouver’s butts, 5-2, on Tuesday for their first winning streak in two months. John Tavares broke out of a slump in a big way, with two goals and three assists vs. the Canucks. They’re out of the playoff picture so it’s all about the kids now for the Isles. But shouldn’t it always be about the kids? For I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way, show them all the beauty they possess inside, give them a sense of pride, to make it easier, let the children’s laughter remind us how it used to be . . . because the greatest gift of all is happening to me (well, it’s happening to Scott Gordon).

Now They Start Winning (Sort of): The Knicks went 2-1 this week. They killed Dallas, 128-94, on Saturday night ending the Mavs’ 13-game winning streak and getting revenge in the process for the 50-point beat down that occurred the last time these two teams met. As the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served in Texas with a biscuit and a side of mac ’n’ cheese. This week’s point guard (and maybe for longer – “This time, we mean it”) Toney Douglas was the star, with 21 points, eight assists and no turnovers. He did it again on Monday, leading the Knicks to a win over Philly, with 20 points and seven assists. And just as importantly as his offensive contributions, he plays defense. But St. Patrick’s Day was a Boston massacre for the Knicks, as the Celtics stomped them, and then the ghost of Red Auerbach blew cigar smoke in their faces for good measure.

Now They Start Winning (and Then They Start Losing): The Rangers won their first two games of the week, and then lost their last two. They beat Atlanta, 5-2, on Friday with help from their usually non-productive power play. They whipped Philly, 3-1, with Sean Avery leading the way by being Sean Avery. Poor Daniel Carcillo was pretty much ignored all night, but the not-so-great-fighter Brandon Dubinsky gave Mike Richards a beating. That’s something you don’t see every day – the Rangers acting tougher than the Flyers. Of course, the Rangers couldn’t find any consistency and were beaten in every aspect of the game by Montreal, and Henrik Lundqvist had a rare bad outing against St. Louis, which means only one thing for this team − a loss.

They Never Stopped Wining: After losing to the Islanders earlier in the week, the Devils beat Boston, 3-2, on Monday to clinch their 18^th straight winning season (they also defeated Pittsburgh for a season sweep of their division rivals and lost in a shootout to Toronto). It’s the longest active streak in sports (unless you count the Mean Machine in The Longest Yard, because every time that movie’s on, they always seem to beat the prison guards, year after year after year). The all-time record is held by the Montreal Canadiens, who had 32 consecutive winning seasons, from 1951-’52 to ’82-’83. As soon as the season ended, the ’83-’84 team, which went 35-40-5, were all lined up on the ice in the old Montreal Forum, blindfolded,  then shot and killed. They take their hockey seriously up there in Canada.

They Can’t Stop Losing: The Nets went 0-4 this week. No need for details.

R.I.P. Peter Graves: This week’s post is dedicated to actor Peter Graves, who passed away a few days ago at the age of 83. Sure, he had a long and illustrious career, but he’ll forever be remembered for one line: “You ever seen a grown man naked?”

Are the Rangers about to embark on their signature successful homestretch run in order to sneak into the playoffs? They’re in do-or-die territory, in ninth place in the conference, but they always seem to be in this position, at least the last few years they have been. Why? Probably because they don’t put in a consistent effort and they’re offensively and defensively challenged. Their five-year streak of making the playoffs is in jeopardy, just like their four-year streak was last year (and three-year streak the season before . . ). They’ve now won two in a row, though, and are 5-2-2 in their last nine games.

They easily whipped Atlanta, 5-2, on Friday night. Their number-one line (for this week) starred, with Vinny Prospal scoring two goals with an assist, and Marian Gaborik netting one and picking up two assists. Michael Del Zotto scored his first goal in a long time, and Henrik Lundqvist was his usual self. In his last 10 games, he’s only allowed more than two goals twice. And the power play was productive. If the players actually move around instead of standing in the same spot, it gives them a better chance to score – what a strange, new concept. Lundqvist plus scoring with the man advantage can cover up a lot of mistakes.

On Sunday, the game everybody’s been waiting for took place, and the Rangers played one of their best games of the year. There were no Daniel Carcillo−related incidents (though Brandon Dubinsky surprisingly pummeled Mike Richards), but the best revenge is to win the game and do it with a thump, and that’s what the Blueshirts did. After being a healthy scratch for the Atlanta game, Sean Avery had one of his few Sean Avery−like games of the year (see game vs. Dallas, January 6). He scored twice, and goaded the Flyers into taking some bad penalties. He was the one playing smart hockey for a change. Michal Rozsival scored a power-play goal – see what happens when the point man rips off a shot that actually is on goal and isn’t one of those weak wristers they usually employ that also usually goes wide of the net.

The Rangers have been playing with desperation and urgency the past few games, and they’re going to have to keep it up for the last 13 if they want to make the playoffs. They have games with Montreal and the Bruins coming up this week, along with ones vs. Tampa Bay and Philly during this last stretch, so they can help themselves by beating the teams they’re contending with. Now the real question: Do we even want the Rangers to make the playoffs? If they squeeze in, will it give them (read: Glen Sather) a false sense of success, since they really haven’t been that good this season? They’ll most likely just get stomped by Washington in the first round anyway; sure, you never know what can happen, but even taking them to seven games last year was pure luck. And if the Rangers don’t make the playoffs, they’ll be in a better draft position. But, on the other hand, I always want my team to win – every game (in spite of the fact that they’re owned by James Dolan and run by Sather). So, I’ll be rooting for the homestretch Rangers to do it once again, and make the postseason for the fifth consecutive year. But do the Rangers themselves want it enough?

Baseball season is right around the corner (hey, three weeks is like four days when you’re my age, so twentysomething days is “right around the corner” to me), and after all the snow this winter, I’m ready. But here comes one of those “the old days were better” ramblings – they don’t call me Old Man Freier in my neighborhood for nothing (actually they pretty much just ignore me because I start every sentence with “Back in my day”). I was recently watching part of game five of the 1976 Yankees-Royals LCS that YES always seems to show and an episode of The Bronx Is Burning on MSG (the one about the 1977 LCS, which intersperses real highlights from the series), and it’s safe to say that baseball has changed since then. It may not have been better, but it was different. It’s lost a lot of its toughness and boys-will-be-boys attitude. In the 1976 game, the first pitch thrown by Grant Jackson right after George Brett hits his game-tying three-run homer in the top of the eighth is aimed right for John Mayberry’s head. It was clearly 100% intentional, but nobody batted an eye. Mayberry ducked out the way, but didn’t even look at Jackson, let alone stand and glare at him or shout at him. The announcers barely mentioned it – just that it was ball one. And there were no stupid umpire warnings, thank god. If that happened today, alarms would go off and the batter would run and hide until it was safe to come back on the field.

In the 1977 LCS, Graig Nettles broke up a double play by putting his shoulder down and running over Frank White, sending him to into oblivion. He made no effort to slide. Of course, the rules have changed since then, and players now have to at least pretend to slide. The rulebook was mainly rewritten because of what Royal Hal McRae did to Willie Randolph, when he body blocked him into left field. Second basemen were just waiting to get killed back then. Again, maybe that’s not better, but different. And then there was the famous fight between Nettles and Brett. Punches were thrown, bodies were slammed, Nettles even kicked Brett – but no one was thrown out of the game. Boys will be boys. There’s even a scene in the miniseries where Billy Martin/John Turturro stands on the top step of the dugout yelling expletives at Royals pitcher Larry Gura (I’m assuming that it’s based on a true incident). Can you imagine Joe Girardi cursing at John Lackey? Today’s players are so much more sensitive and fragile than the old-timers, with their taking offense to any pitch that comes near them, their body armor, pitch counts, delicately sliding around catchers, manicured hair, dancing and handshakes, the disappearance of bench jockeying, coddling by the union and owners, wearing batting helmets while running the bases – you get the picture. And they’re so much nicer to their enemies, with all the fraternizing that goes on. Sure, today’s spoiled players are more athletic, faster, bigger and stronger (wink, wink), but little by little, the game is turning into softball, with no contact, and god help you if you hurt anyone’s feelings. As the Hanson Brothers might have said: “Old-time baseball! Thurman Munson! Cookie Rojas! Lou Piniella!”

Ok, the boring sermon is over, and now back to 2010. Here are the top stories in the world of New York sports this past week:

Comings and Goings: The NFL free-agent frenzy has begun. Say good-bye to Thomas Jones (Chiefs), Kerry Rhodes (Cardinals), David Carr (49ers) and Fred Robbins (Rams), and say hello to Antrel Rolle, Jim Sorgi, Brodney Pool and Antonio Cromartie. The Jets kindly gave $500,000 up front to their new cornerback so he can clear up the many, many, many (many) paternity issues he has going. He’s the Brady Bunch, Eight Is Enough, With Six You Get Eggroll, Yours, Mine and Ours and My Three Sons all rolled into one.

The Week in Port St. Lucie: Thyroids, pink eye, sore shoulders, pitchers getting hit in the knee with line drives, Oliver Perez getting hammered, front office miscommunications and buffoonery – it’s just another routine week for the Mets. John Maine had a promising outing, though when healthy, he’s usually good, while Perez and Mike Pelfrey were lit up. Any bad performance by one of those guys and we’re in “the sky is falling” territory, but with Johan Santana it’s all about how he feels. Statistically, his first start didn’t go so well (1.2 innings pitched, four runs, six hits, one K, one BB), but as long as he’s healthy, who cares? Frankie Rodriguez is back in camp after suffering from pink eye and the slings and arrows of Goose Gossage calling him a clown (I’m not sure which is worse). Clowns everywhere will come out of the woodwork to criticize Gossage because the Hall-of-Fame reliever used the word “clown” in a derogatory manner. We’re only days away from a press conference/formal apology from the former Yankee great: “I apologize to any clowns I may have offended. I regret my choice of words. I should said ‘bonehead’ instead.” And because the Mets can’t seem to pull off the simplest of tasks, for a few days we had Thyroid-Gate, starring Jose Reyes’ overactive thyroid (“It’s not overactive!” “Yes it is!”). Of course, now he’ll be out for weeks or even months before he can resume any kind of baseball activity. But kids Jenrry Meija and Ike Davis along with not-so-young Chris Carter keep on impressing everybody – so they have that going for them.

The Week in Tampa: The Phil Hughes/Joba Chamberlain duel began this past week, and the verdict so far: Hughes pretty good, Joba very bad (27.05 ERA). Francisco Cervelli was drilled in the melon and got a concussion on Saturday. Thankfully, he seems to be doing fine now. And speaking of doing fine, Nick Johnson’s back on the field and homered twice on Tuesday. CC Sabathia looked a lot like Santana on Tuesday, when he went 2.2 innings and let in five runs on seven hits. Meanwhile, the Alex Rodriguez/Dr. Tony Galea controversy continues. The shady doctor treated A-Rod without permission from the Yankees, and now, unlike Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran, he’s refusing to come clean on what went on. The feds may be twisting his arm, but if he’s not guilty of anything then just say so. Of course, A-Rod can’t trust himself to not stick his own foot in his mouth. He’s walking around camp muttering advice to himself, “Don’t say anything stupid. Just pretend you’re somebody else.”

The Race for the Worst: The Nets beat the Knicks this week but they’re still in a race against time for the worst record ever. If they win three more games, will the 1972-’73 Philadelphia 76ers pop the champagne and celebrate like the ’72 Miami Dolphins? The worst record in Nets franchise history is 17-65, by the way. The 1989-’90 team, coached by Bill Fitch, set that mark. Dennis Hopson was their leading scorer (15.8), while Sam Bowie was their top rebounder (10.1 per game). That pretty much says it all. Other players on that team: Chris Morris, Mookie Blaylock, Roy Hinson, Purvis Short, Lester Conner, Charles Shackleford, Chris Dudley, Derrick Gervin, and even Anthony Mason and Rick Carlisle. Looking to the future, though, there was a groundbreaking ceremony yesterday in Brooklyn for the team’s new arena, with Jay-Z and other luminaries grabbing a shovel. But there was no sign of Joe Barry Carroll.

Not Much Better: The woeful Knicks lost to the Nets, and missed all of their three pointers along the way. They did beat Atlanta by one point, though, to try and regain some dignity. But their loss on Wednesday to San Antonio clinched their ninth straight losing season, setting a franchise record (they had eight consecutive losing seasons from 1959-’60 to ’66-’67). Thanks James Dolan. Now please just go away.

Momentum Changer: So, an aging, balding drunk who’s kind of a jerk walks into a bar (this sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn’t it? But it’s just what I did on Sunday night), and at that same moment Brandon Dubinsky scores the tying goal against Buffalo. But before I even had a bottle of beer in my hand, the Sabres scored in overtime to beat the Rangers. And just like that, another point gets away from them. Even the usually reliable Henrik Lundqvist/Martin Brodeur matchup let them down, when the Devils crushed the Blueshirts in a sloppily played game by both teams. Points are quickly slipping away. Is this the beginning of the end for the Rangers (or did that happen on opening day?) and the beginning of a turnaround for New Jersey, who hadn’t been winning consistently in a few months? It’s getting late fast for the Rangers. And it’s all over for the Islanders, as they lost all three of their games this week.

The Knicks recently celebrated the 40^th anniversary of their first championship, which got me to thinking – and yes, this is what I think about while cracking open my ninth beer of the night: New York-area teams have a seven-decade championship streak on the line this year. For the last seven decades (and eight out of nine) a New York team has played in a championship game when the year ends in a zero. Sometimes they lost, sometimes they won, but they reached the final game or series. Coincidence? Yeah, but so what? Let’s look back anyway.

The year 2000 was a bonanza. The Yankees and Mets squared off in the World Series, the Devils won the Stanley Cup and the Giants made it to the Super Bowl but lost to Baltimore (the game was played in 2001 but it was the 2000 season). In 1990, the Giants beat Buffalo in the Super Bowl (wide right!). The Islanders won the first of four consecutive Stanley Cups in 1980. The Knicks, of course, won their first championship in 1970. The Yankees lost a heartbreaker to Bill Mazeroski and the Pirates in 1960. 1950 saw the Yanks defeat the Whiz Kid Phillies for their second of five Series wins in a row, and the Rangers were defeated by Detroit in the Stanley Cup. 1940? The Rangers won, of course, beating Toronto for their third Stanley Cup victory. The streak’s broken link is 1930. Native New Yorkers the Marx Brothers released Animal Crackers that year – does that count? The Brooklyn Dodgers (or Robins, as they were sometimes known as back then, when they temporarily changed their name in honor of their manager, Wilbert Robinson) lost to Cleveland in 1920. I don’t know what happened in 1910. None of the three local baseball teams reached the World Series, and the football, basketball and hockey teams didn’t exist yet. Maybe Theodore Roosevelt won a bear wrestling championship or Christy Mathewson was victorious in a design-the-most-creative-straw-hat-and-win-a-Victrola contest.

So who will keep the streak alive this year? I think we can count out the Nets, Knicks and Islanders, and the Rangers would be a real, real long shot (ok, a real, real, real long shot). The Yankees, of course, have to be the favorite. David Wright thinks the Mets can make it to the World Series. The Devils always have a shot (but maybe Martin Brodeur is too depressed after being benched in the Olympics). And the Jets and Giants may get there if things break right for them. But it’s almost a guarantee that one of our teams will make it, right? Well, after you drink nine beers, it will seem like a lock.

Here are the top stories in the world of New York sports this past week:

Close But No Cigar: The Friday snow storm and shovel-fest worked out so I could watch the U.S.-Finland game instead of going to work (after getting a foot and a half of snow, it was sunny out at my house on Friday afternoon – go figure), and the US of A gave those Finnish bastards a 6-1 stomping (they’re not really bastards but I don’t know enough about Finland to come up with a more fitting derogatory term). Canada won a thriller against Slovakia, setting up the gold medal game. I never thought I would root for Zach Parise, but when he scored that goal with 24 seconds left, there I was rooting for a Devil. It was shades of his father, Islander J.P. Parise, scoring the overtime goal that beat the Rangers in the first round of the 1975 playoffs. Why did Sidney Crosby of all people have to be the one to score the winning goal? Right after he put the puck in the net, he took a dive for old time’s sake and complained to the ref before celebrating with his teammates. It was fun while it lasted. And I guess it was all worth it just to listen to the sagacious ramblings of the always-insane William Shatner later that night. But why couldn’t he have sung “Rocket Man”? Now that would have been the perfect ending to the Winter Olympics.

Good News/Bad News: The good news: The Knicks destroyed Detroit on Wednesday, with four players scoring over 20 points (that hasn’t happened since the 1971 Baltimore Orioles – no wait, that was four 20-game winners on the same team; four 20-point scorers on the same team probably happened last week some time); the bad news: They were humiliated and embarrassed by Cleveland in the previous game. The good news: The Knicks beat Washington in overtime on Friday; the bad news: They followed that up with a loss to Memphis. The bad news: Tracy McGrady’s knees have been bothering him all week; the good news: The Knicks traded for his expiring contract, not his knees (and now he’s the point guard du jour). The good news: The Knicks won two out of four games this week; the bad news: Those are the only two games they’ve won in their last 12. The bad news: Eddy Curry is coming back; the good news: He can stand in the lane and distract the other team by having them stop and say, “Hey, I though you retired about 15 years ago.” The good news: Both Mike D’Antoni and Donnie Walsh manned up and took the blame for the Knicks defenseless, pathetic play of late; the bad news: The Knicks stink.

Do You Believe in Miracles?! No, I’m not talking about Olympic hockey, but the Nets beating the Celtics in Boston on Saturday. That’s pretty much as miraculous as it gets. Kevin Garnett wasn’t feeling so good about the loss: “I got nothing to say. I feel disgusted.” But the Nets still couldn’t manage to come up with their first winning streak of the year, when they blew a lead to Washington on Sunday. But they’ve won games two weeks in a row, now. That’s a miracle for them. In their last game of the week, they were blown out by Cleveland. So the Cavs beat the two local teams by a combined 50 points.

Dr. HGH: It’s probably much ado about nothing (though we shouldn’t believe anything players say these days, should we?), but the FBI recently questioned Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran and want to speak to Alex Rodriguez. They all have tenuous ties to Dr. Tony Galea, who is under investigation for conspiring to smuggle HGH into the U.S. from Canada. Reyes used the doctor’s shaken-not-stirred blood-spinning procedure last year, when he was trying to put his hamstring back together. At least Beltran answered all their questions without pulling a Sammy Sosa – “No inglés, señor.” No word on A-Rod’s link to the good doctor, but he’s already a steroid cheat as it is, so the damage is already done for him. Every day a new name comes out. Who’s next? Horace Clarke? Bill Sudakis? On the field, Reyes took the first pitch he saw this spring in game action and hammered it down the line for a two-run triple. And Jon Niese threw two innings without falling down while writhing in pain, so that’s some good news for the Mets so far this spring. Of course, the Mets were just playing against themselves. But the next day, they beat a real live actual team (the Braves), for their first win of the grapefruit league season, with talk-of-the-camp Ike Davis belting two doubles. Yesterday he smashed a grand slam in the Mets’ win over the Cards, and the team picked up reliever Kiki Calero to help with the bullpen depth. As for the Yankees, Joe Girardi took his players on an arcade outing to do some team bonding, loosen the guys up and take a break from those grueling three-hour days spent lounging around in perfectly ideal sunny weather. Two months of negotiations preceded the trip, as the Players’ Union haggled with the Yankees over who would supply the quarters. A.J. Burnett won the Indy Car racing competition, Andrew Brackman was the Skee-Ball champion and Royce Ring won the Pop-A-Shot event. Andy Pettitte and A-Rod were barred from taking part in the games because they failed a drug test. The Yankees won their first spring training game, too, but they win every game, don’t they? And oh yeah, Nick Johnson’s already injured.

They’re Back: Well, most of the Rangers are. Marian Gaborik came down with a lower body injury that somehow involved back bacon in Vancouver and is out indefinitely. I kind of enjoyed the break. How many times can you write that the Rangers don’t have a lot of talent, can’t score, don’t consistently play hard and their GM stinks? But they did come storming out of the gate with a 4-1 win over Ottawa, which was their third victory in a row. But on Friday, they lost to Pittsburgh in overtime despite Henrik Lundqvist’s heroic performance. Though he let in five goals, he made 50 saves (50!) and was the best player on the ice. The Islanders put poor Rick DiPietro back on the all-too-familiar injured reserve list, soundly beat Chicago, 5-3, and then got hammered last night by Atlanta, 6-3. And the Devils also won their first game back, beating San Jose, 4-3, but Brodeur let in three quick goals as fast as you can say the words “Roberto Luongo.”

Trade Deadline: The Rangers picked up peripatetic backup goalie Alex Auld off waivers last week, and the local teams only made minor trades leading up to the deadline: The Islanders sent Greg Moore to Columbus for Dylan Reese, and Andy Sutton was shipped off to Ottawa for a second-round draft pick; the Devils picked up Martin Skoula from Toronto for a fifth-round pick; and the Rangers traded minor leaguer Jordan Owens to Detroit for Kris Newbury and sent Miika Wiikman (and a 2011 seventh-round pick) to Phoenix for Anders Eriksson. The big deals were made a few weeks ago – for Ilya Kovalchuk and Olli Jokinen. The Blueshirts probably should have been sellers, but at least they didn’t do anything stupid.

What Have You Done For Us Lately (A Lot, Actually): The Jets are all set to release Thomas Jones today. He rushed for a career-high 1,402 yards and scored a personal best 14 touchdowns last season. The team is taking a gamble by dispatching the veteran leader. He may have been injured at the end of the season, but so were Shonn Greene and Leon Washington (his future is up in the air, too). “It’s not you, it’s us,” stated the Jets to Jones. But now they may be having second thoughts, as they’re contemplating releasing and then re-signing the popular running back. Lito Sheppard is gone, though. “It’s you, not us,” they told him. And in late-breaking news, the Jets traded a 2011 draft pick for Antonio Cromartie.

We all know about the great athletes in New York sports history – Babe Ruth, Tom Seaver, Lawrence Taylor, Joe Namath, Mark Messier, Walt Frazier – and even the busts – Ed Whitson, Mo Vaughn, Roberto Alomar, Stephon Marbury, Scott Gomez. But what about the slightly-to-highly-above-average athlete? The kind-of-great but not all-timer? They may not have been Hall-of-Famers, but they were All-Stars, fan favorites, cogs on a championship team or maybe even just pretty darn good. They’re the little brother that didn’t hog all the attention. But they’re certainly worth talking about and remembering. So when do they get their due? Well, now they will. Here is a series of the not-quite-legendary in New York sports history.

The analysts on MSG’s Hockey Night Live, Butch Goring, Ron Duguay and Ken Daneyko, are three disparate personalities and were three completely different players, playing for different teams and playing different positions, but they all made their mark in New York sports history (ok, and New Jersey). From the gritty, down-to-earth Goring, to the flashy male-model-like Duguay, to tough-guy, toothless Daneyko, they won seven Stanley Cups between them (sorry Ron), and each had a long, successful career.

Butch Goring

Butch Goring was the “final piece of the puzzle” for the Islanders dynasty when he was acquired from Los Angeles in 1980 for Billy Harris and Dave Lewis. After a decade with the Kings, where he scored over 20 goals in nine straight seasons (with a career-high 37 in 1977-’78), Goring came to Long Island and was the veteran the club needed to push them over the top, and led them to four consecutive Stanley Cups. That first spring with the Islanders, he recorded 19 points in the playoffs, and then followed that up in 1981 with 20 points (10 goals, 10 assists) and won the Conn Smythe Trophy. His reputation as a clutch player was already cemented, though, back in 1976, when he scored overtime goals in two separate playoff games for the Kings in their series vs. the Bruins.

He was a relentless hard worker, who was known for killing penalties, winning face-offs and being defensive minded, but most of all (or maybe least of all), he was known for his unique, crazy homemade helmet that he wore going all the way back to his childhood. The St. Boniface, Manitoba, native amazingly only totaled 102 career penalty minutes in 1,107 games – it’s the fewest in history for players who played over 1,000 games. He took one minor penalty four different seasons in his career. Besides being the MVP of the playoffs, he also won the Lady Byng and Bill Masterson awards (both in 1978) and played in the 1980 All-Star game. After spending parts of six seasons on Long Island, and finishing his career with half a season in Boston, he called it quits, with a total of 375 goals, 513 assists, for 888 points. He briefly coached the Bruins and the Islanders. And like Dave DeBusschere and Gary Carter, he’ll forever be known as that last important component to a championship team.

Ron Duguay

The hair. You say the words “Ron Duguay” and the first thing you think of is long, curly hair. Duguay was Jon Bon Jovi before Jon Bon Jovi. He was hanging out at Studio 54 with Andy Warhol (who put him on the cover of Interview magazine). He was in Sasson Jeans commercials (with teammates Phil Esposito, Anders Hedberg and Dave Maloney). He was a sex symbol. He was a swingin’ Manhattan disco cool cat. But he was also a hockey player.

The Sudbury, Ontario, native was the 13^th overall pick in the 1977 draft, and made his debut as a 20 year old for the Rangers that year. He scored 20 goals that season, and then improved to 27 and 28 goals the next two years. He had his best year with the club in 1981-’82, when he tallied 40 goals and 36 assists, and made the All-Star team. He was, of course, part of the underdog team that beat the Islanders and made it all the way to the 1979 Stanley Cup finals, losing to Montreal in five games. After six season with the Blueshirts, Duguay was traded to Detroit, where he racked up a career-high 89 points in 1984-’85. He then went to Pittsburgh, back to the Rangers and finished his career with the LA Kings. In 12 NHL seasons, he scored 274 goals, assisted on 346, for a total of 620 points. He made the playoffs every year but one (with his best performance coming in 1981, with 17 points in 14 games). After leaving the NHL, he played in Germany and even tried professional roller hockey. His golden-boy looks and signature hair overshadowed the fact that he was an old-fashioned hard worker on the ice. But if he would have been forced to wear a helmet, the Ron Duguay mystique wouldn’t have been the same.

Ken Daneyko

Goring had his helmet, Duguay had his hair and Ken Daneyko had his teeth. Or rather lack thereof. His toothless grin is one of the great images in NHL history. Known as Mr. Devil, Daneyko was tough as a handful of rusty nails and as fierce a competitor as there ever was. And he was a winner. The burly defenseman was a part of all three Devils Stanley Cup champion teams, going out on top, when he retired after the 2003 Cup victory.

A Windsor, Ontario, native, Daneyko was a first-round pick of New Jersey in the 1982 draft. He made his NHL debut in 1983, and played parts of 20 seasons, all with New Jersey, and was on 14 playoff teams. He didn’t contribute much on offense – his best scoring year was in 1989-’90 with six goals and 15 assists (for his career he scored 36 goals with 142 assists) – but that wasn’t his job after all; his was to keep the other team from scoring. He once went 255 consecutive regular season games without scoring. What he could do, though, was rack up the penalty minutes. Five times he collected over 200 penalty minutes and totaled 2,519 for his career. He was tough in front of the net and was often used as a shadow. He won one major award in his career – the Bill Masterson Trophy, in 2000, after persevering over a little glug-glug-glug problem (he missed much of the ’97-’98 season when he voluntarily entered the NHL/NHLPA substance abuse program). He was a selfless, team-first player, and New Jersey rewarded him by retiring his #3 in 2006. If you don’t like Ken Daneyko, you don’t like hockey.

(Click here, here, here, here, here and here to read the other bios in the series.)

Ok, so I’m at Penn Station in the men’s room the other day (and no, I wasn’t “loitering” or “hanging out” or “experimenting” – I was just “freshening up” before my train ride home), and this guy is holding a fancy Victoria’s Secret gift bag with a wrapped present sticking out of it, when he drops it on the floor as he’s zipping up. Now, of course, the floor in there is, shall we say, wet. In fact, it’s sort of like a pond. A pond filled with scum. And other things that you don’t even want to be stepping in, let alone dropping a fancy present in. The guy picks up his bag, gives it a wipe or two with his hand, splashing the run-off on himself now, and then goes on his merry way. Oh, that poor, poor girlfriend or wife. Little does she know the journey that her thoughtful gift has traveled. The only way she could find out, is if that schlemiel boyfriend of hers came home and announced, “Happy birthday, Honey! Your gift is drenched in authentic Penn Station men’s room urine! Enjoy!” Or maybe he did it on purpose: “Happy birthday, Honey! Your gift is drenched in authentic Penn Station men’s room urine – just the way you like it! Enjoy!” That story has nothing to do with the week in New York sports; I just thought it was a nice, little slice of life story that I found amusing and wanted to share.

Now on to sports (sort of). Olympic fever is finally spreading through my house. My daughter watched some of the speed skating, and she decided that she needed to win a Gold medal in that event. So she pulled on her Rollerblades, and proceeded to slowly skate around our basement a few times, and then declared herself the Gold medalist. What she was really interested in, though, was the pomp and circumstance of the medal-winning ceremony. She stood on the couch, which acted as the podium the winner stands on, with her stuffed Winnie the Pooh being the Silver medal winner sitting (he can’t really stand) a level below her, and SpongeBob winning the Bronze. I formally presented my daughter with her Gold medal (ok, a toy necklace), and, yes, she then made me sing the National Anthem. The whole thing. And if you’ve never sung it, it’s a tough song to sing, spanning a range of octaves and all. But, fortunately, I didn’t have to sing the Hundred Acre Wood or Bikini Bottom anthems. Of course, my daughter inherited that kind of monkey-see-monkey-do behavior from her father and her uncles. After watching the James Caan classic Rollerball on TV once when we were kids, the next day, my brothers and I plus a group of friends tried to play our own version of the game. There were some bicycles, roller skates, hockey gloves and a softball involved, but it just didn’t quite work out for some reason. It’s too bad my daughter didn’t get caught up in curling the last two weeks. Maybe that would have led to her sweeping or vacuuming the house.

Now on to sports (really). Here are the biggest stories in the world of New York sports this week:

Dawning of a New Era: It was a newsworthy week for the Knicks, but unfortunately, they didn’t win any games. The Tracy McGrady era (as short as it may be) began on Saturday (along with the Sergio Rodriguez era, as he’s now the team’s new point guard). McGrady starred, pouring in 26 points, but he and the team ran out of steam and lost in OT to Oklahoma City. On Monday, the Knicks honored their first-ever world champion team from 1970. The ongoing interviews during the game were a good distraction from what went on out on the court. The 2010 Knicks are not in the same universe as their 1970 forefathers. Chemistry and teamwork were the buzz words of that champion team, and those aspects of the game were nowhere to found during the Knicks-Bucks game. Of course, their recent trades had a lot to do with that, and they lost a lot of defense and size. McGrady had to leave the game with an injured knee. That didn’t take long. He looked rusty, tentative and out of game shape in their loss to Nate Robinson and Boston on Wednesday. It looks like he may have peaked on Saturday.

Down in FLA: The Mets signed Rod Barajas to a reasonably cheap one-year contract. One year for him is better than Bengie Molina for two or three years at $12 million or whatever it would have been. They both play defense, they both hit home runs, and that’s about it. I feel bad for Omir Santos. He went from major league starter to Triple A backup in one stroke of the pen. It looks like Jerry Manuel may bat Jose Reyes third to start the season. If it’s only until Carlos Beltran comes back, why bother? Reyes is sensitive enough as it is, so shouldn’t Manuel make him as comfortable as possible coming back from his injury? Jenrry Mejia has impressed Manuel in camp so far. And Sandy Koufax is the next in line to take a stab at fixing the mysterious Oliver Perez. Over in Tampa, the Yankees signed Chan Ho Park – throw another reliever on the pile. Jorge Posada and A.J. Burnett began working together after last year’s disastrous partnership. Shouldn’t Posada be a DH at this point in his career? In last year’s playoffs he couldn’t catch the ball no matter who was pitching. Johnny Damon officially became a Tiger, and Derek Jeter declared he wants to be a Yankee forever. Where else is he going to go?

Do You Believe in Slight Upsets?! It wasn’t exactly a miracle, but it was an upset nonetheless. The U.S. beat Canada in a great game, almost 30 years to the day of the Miracle on Ice. Hey, even Chris Drury scored – he’s obviously been pacing himself with the Rangers, saving his offensive output for the Olympics. Jamie Langenbrunner scored (and assisted on another), and ex-Devil Brian Rafalski netted two goals. Whenever I think of a Devil or ex-Devil’s name, in my mind it’s always said in Mike Emrick’s excitable voice. He’s so ubiquitous, he’s now doing the play-by-play of my everyday life in my head, which isn’t so bad really. Maybe it’s a new undiagnosed disease – Emrick Syndrome. It could be worse – it could be Suzyn Waldman’s voice I’m hearing. Ryan Miller saved the day for the USA, while poor Martin Brodeur looked like he just lost to the Rangers again, and then he was benched for Canada’s game against Germany. He now has to slink back to New Jersey, as he has all of Canada wanting to come after him with torches and pitchforks. Canada recovered to beat Germany and steamroll over Russia, though. And the USA kept their dream alive with a win over Switzerland, with Zach Parise providing all the offense they would need. Debate time: With the Miracle on Ice on everybody’s mind, who was the better Herb Brooks – Kurt Russell or Karl Malden?

The first-ever slam dunk competition was held this week during halftime of the ABA All-Star game at McNichols Arena in Denver. Julius Erving of the New York Nets wowed everybody with his running dunk from the foul line. Dr. J bested Denver’s David Thompson, Artis Gilmore of the Kentucky Colonels, and San Antonio’s George Gervin and Larry Kenon. As for the game itself (after some pregame entertainment by top-of-the-chart recording artists Glen Campbell and Charlie Rich), the league eschewed its former format of East vs. West, instead having the first place team at the break taking on a group of ABA All-Stars. The Denver Nuggets, coached by Larry Brown, scored 52 points in the fourth quarter to overtake the All-Star squad by a final score of 144-138. Thompson was named the game’s MVP, scoring 29 points, and Dr. J led the All-Stars with 23 points. In the NBA All-Star game, Dave Bing was named MVP (16 points, four assists) after leading the East to a 123-109 victory at the Spectrum in Philadelphia. Bob McAdoo and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar led all scorers with 22 points apiece.

Meanwhile, at the winter Olympics at Innsbruck, Austria, Austria’s own Franz Klammer won the downhill skiing gold medal. Dorothy Hamill took the gold in figure skating, and instantly replaced Schneider from One Day at a Time as America’s sweetheart and ushered in a new era in bad women’s haircuts along the way. And the mighty robotic machine of the U.S.S.R. won the gold medal in hockey. The highlight of the opening ceremonies was the Olympic torch being lit by Henry Winkler. He didn’t need a flame to light it, though – he just banged it with his elbow, gave a thumbs-up, said “aaayyyy,” and the torch was aflame.

Of course, that all happened in the winter of 1976. I didn’t really watch much of the Olympics or the NBA’s All-Star weekend this week so I randomly went with highlights of the first year I could think of instead. Here are the biggest stories in the world of New York sports this week (yes, 2010):

Blockbuster: The Knicks began their post-break slide to oblivion (or the summer of 2010, whichever way you look at it) with back-to-back losses to Chicago. Nate Robinson didn’t play either game because they didn’t want him to infect the team – it was unclear if it was his “flu-like symptoms” or “erratic, turnover-prone-like symptoms” they didn’t want the team infected with. But at any rate, his Knick career is over, as he was shipped off to Boston. The team also unloaded Darko Milicic (was he even on the Knicks?) to Minnesota (not the Timberwolves, though, just the state of Minnesota). But the big blockbuster was the three-team trade with Houston and Sacramento. The Knicks get the expiring contract of Tracy McGrady and Sergio Rodriguez, while shedding themselves of Jared Jeffries, Larry Hughes and Jordan Hill (some draft picks were mixed in there as well), which frees up mucho cap space for this summer’s free-agent bounty. For his next trick, Donnie Walsh will make Wade Redden, Michal Rozsival and Chris Drury disappear.

The Eyes of Texas: David Lee made his All-Star game debut on Sunday night, playing 12 minutes, scoring four points and grabbing two rebounds. A record 108,000 people crowded into the Cowboys’ stadium to watch the East beat the West, 141-139, on a giant TV. Does that mean the old Dallas Chaparrals (speaking of the ABA) never drew that much at Moody Coliseum? They probably never drew that much total in their whole existence. Nate Robinson won his third consecutive and last Slam Dunk contest – he’s going out on top, claiming he’s retiring from the dunk-fest. He’s not sure what his next move will be to replace participating in that exhibition; he’s narrowed it down to entering baseball’s Home Run Derby, being a contestant on Project Runway or getting his own reality show up and running, Big Dunks, Little People. And Danilo Gallinari tied for last in the three-point shooting contest.

The Magic Number: Five more wins to go for the Nets, and they can breathe a little easier. That would give them 10 for the year, which would best the all-time worst record, held by the 1972-’73 76ers. The Nets won again this week, which is always big news in itself, beating the Bobcats, 103-94, and they came thisclose to winning on Wednesday against the Heat. The last time the Nets won back-to-back games came in 1972 against the Dallas Chaparrals (let’s keep up the ABA theme, even if I’m just making stuff up now).

Pitchers and Catchers: Sunshine, the smell of freshly cut grass, Oliver Perez not having any idea where his next pitch will end up – it must be time for spring training. Pitchers and catchers reported to Florida this week. For the Mets, their staff is filled with pitchers coming off injuries – Perez, Johan Santana, John Maine, Jon Niese, Fernando Nieve – and a batch of new faces – Ryota Igarashi, Hisanori Takahashi, Jay Marshall, Clint Everts and Kelvim Escobar, who’s already feeling discomfort in his shoulder (come to think of it, I’m already feeling discomfort thinking about the Mets season). As for the Yankees, they’re bringing back most of the same cast of characters as last season’s staff, with Javier Vazquez being the one big addition. The battle for the number-five slot in the rotation between Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain is the one thing to watch for in Yankee camp. The big loss for the Bombers this spring, though, is Yankee trainer Gene Monahan. He’s taking a leave of absence for medical reasons, due to an undisclosed illness. The legend has been with the Yankees for almost 50 years. Get well soon, Gene.

Don’t Stop Now: The Rangers earned a hard-fought win over Pittsburgh last Friday night. Unfortunately, Michael Del Zotto’s leg was carved up like a pound of ham being sliced at a deli in a freak incident. Fifty stitches were needed to patch him back up. The team picked up another brawler in Jody Shelley to replace the failed Donald Brashear experiment. And on Valentine’s Day, they whipped Tampa Bay, 5-2, with Henrik Lundqvist leading the way and Erik Christensen chipping in two goals – he must have been trying to impress some girl out there. Of course, the Rangers finally play two excellent games in a row (well, minus a period here or there) and then had to stop for the Olympics. Ok, let’s Dwight Schrute this next part. Question: Should you ever propose to your girlfriend on a JumboTron at a sporting event? Answer: No – as we saw with some poor schmuck whose marriage proposal on the scoreboard was turned down between periods of the Rangers game on Valentine’s Day (though it may have just been a hoax). Having your girlfriend wrestle your cousin Mose to ensure she comes from hearty stock is ok, though. And proposing on a beet farm is also acceptable.

Nap Time: The Devils exploded for give goals against Nashville on Friday night, including Ilya Kovalchuk’s first with the team, but then they turned around and let in five themselves the next night, losing to Carolina. All that hard work and winning the first few months of the season has made them tired and sleepy. The break will do them good (well, the players who aren’t competing in the Olympics will get a rest). The Islanders won 5-4 on Saturday, and, like New Jersey, lost the next day to wrap up the pre-Olympic portion of their schedule. So all three offensively challenged local teams put up a five spot last weekend.

Super Bowl Sunday combines everything that’s great about our country: Drinking, eating 15 pounds of Buffalo wings, gambling and British classic rock. Why, oh why is this day not a national holiday? Here in New York, did we care who won? Well, if you had a wager on the game you did. Or did one of those squares things at work. So even if you don’t have a true rooting interest, it’s still hard to watch the game in a nice, relaxing manner when you’re yelling at the TV for the Colts to get a safety so they could end up with a score that ends in 5. The halftime show is always fun. The Who (or what’s left of them) rocked as only senior citizens can. Let’s give them credit, though, when I’m their age I’ll be lucky if can eat solid food and remember where I live. But the band is getting too rickety to smash their own equipment, so they have roadies do that for them now, as they exit the stage on their Rascal scooters. Next year, I believe Bill Haley and the Comets will be performing. And in the postgame festivities, former Chiefs quarterback Len Dawson carried out the Vince Lombardi Trophy with Saints players mobbing him, and it was only when he was back at his hotel did the Hall-of-Famer realize that his wallet was stolen.

As for the game, it wasn’t an all-time classic but will be remembered for the Saints finally winning, with the onside kick as the play that will forever be remembered. And the team and the city of New Orleans deserve it. Was there karma involved for the Colts in not going for the undefeated season? Whatever the case, the people from the resilient city in Louisiana will be celebrating for a long time. At least they can relax and sober up during the upcoming Mardi Gras festivities. And everybody in the world now knows all about Who Dat Nation. Is it time for us to come up with a New York equivalent? Here are some obvious names: Fuhgeddaboudit Nation and Are You Talkin’ To Me? Nation. But there are some others to choose from as well: If You Don’t Stop Looking at Me I’ll Stab You in the Neck Nation; Watch Out For That Creepy Guy on the Subway Nation; and Sure, We Have Body Parts Floating in the East River – You Got a Problem With That? Nation. When all was said and done, Drew Brees called going to New Orleans a calling from God. I feel the same way about my present situation – I have a dead-end job, I’m in debt, I can barely pay my bills and mortgage, I have a car that’s held together by duct tape and my family only gives me the time of day because I’m the one who takes out the garbage and shovels the snow. It’s a calling from God; apparently God just doesn’t really care for me.

Here are the top stories in the world of New York sports this week:

What Might Have Been and What Might Not Ever Be: The only good news for the Knicks this week was David Lee finally making the All-Star team. They lost to Milwaukee on Friday, and all the talk was about point guard Brandon Jennings and what could have been. On Saturday, they lost to Cleveland and LeBron James (with a valiant, but failed comeback attempt) and the talk was about what could be – but King James coming to NYC is probably just wishful thinking. Nate Robinson was the starting point guard for those two games, but Mike D’Antoni quickly came to his senses and realized that Nate’s a chucker not a floor general, so Chris Duhon was back in the starting lineup for the overtime loss to Sacramento (despite Wilson Chandler’s heroics). The Kings franchise had one of the great point guards in NBA history, of course, in Nate “Tiny” Archibald, not to mention Oscar Robertson and very briefly Bob Cousy (he inserted himself into seven games when he coached the Cincinnati Royals in 1969-’70; it’s unclear whether he was wearing a suit when he was running up and down the court, though), and to haunt the Knicks even more about their point guard situation, Curly Neal was in the stands watching the Knicks-Kings game.

The Cold War: Sean Avery doesn’t even have to trash talk about Martin Brodeur to Brodeur himself and he gets under the skin of the Devils. He baited Ilya Kovalchuk into jumping him with a few pleasantries regarding Brodeur, and got the new Devil off the ice for the final minutes of the Rangers’ victory. Not that I’m in love with all of Avery’s antics and sideshow personality, but if the roles had been reversed and he had been the one who speared and then attacked Kovalchuk while only being verbally provoked, what are the odds he would have not only been kicked out of the game but suspended as well? The Rangers followed up their win vs. the Devils with a loss to Nashville, sans Marian Gaborik (and then put Donald Brashear on waivers – where he belongs). They . . . just . . . can’t . . . score. The Devils too are sinking like a stone. They fall apart at the end of games, and even when they do score, it comes with a price. Anssi Salmela was leveled by Flyer Jeff Carter right after he scored and was taken off the ice on a stretcher. If that wasn’t bad enough, New Jersey lost both their games to the Flyers. The problem lately? They . . . just . . . can’t . . . score.

Meanwhile, Out on Long Island: After doing nothing but losing, the Islanders got a big win on Tuesday, when Mark Streit scored the tying goal with 11 seconds left in the game (all three goals were by defensemen), and then the team went on to win in a shootout. And the second-to-last power play in the league caught fire in this game, too – well, going one for six is catching fire when you haven’t scored in so long. And then they lost a routine one to Pittsburgh on Wednesday. And like their local rivals, they . . . just . . . can’t . . . score.

The Plight of the Nets: They . . . just . . . can’t . . . win. But will Rick Pitino ride in to save the day?

Stuff About the Mets: The Mets are lowering the portion of Citi Field’s center-field wall in front of the apple by eight feet. That’s probably the least of the team’s problems, though. Mookie Wilson is back with the organization as a minor league outfield and base-running coordinator. Maybe he can be the automatic pinch-runner for the team as well, replacing everybody on the bases at all times. And Keith Hernandez is tutoring Daniel Murphy at first base. While Murphy made some aggressive mistakes and was out of position at times last season, I thought he showed a lot of promise at a position he had to learn at the major league level. At least he actually tried to field the ball at all times, unlike Carlos Delgado, who couldn’t be bothered to move half the time. And the Mets signed old friend Mike Jacobs this week.

The Sex Addict Speaks: In a recent interview, former blowhard announcer and failed Met GM Steve Phillips said: “I couldn’t stop myself from doing the things that I was doing, even knowing the consequences – marriage, great job, great career, and I risked all of that.” I could be wrong, but I think he was talking about trading for Mo Vaughn.

A Giant Good-bye: The Giants released middle-linebacker and captain of the defense Antonio Pierce yesterday. He made a Pro Bowl, won a Super Bowl and, oh yeah, he was involved in the Bonnie Situation - I mean the Plaxico Situation. It may have been time for him to go, but it’s a gamble for the Giants – who will replace him?

Gone But Not Forgotten: It was Dick McGuire last week, and now former Knick Carl Braun has passed away also. The New York native played 12 seasons with the Knicks, going all the way back to the Basketball Association of America (he finished his career with one year in Boston). He was on the Knicks when they reached the finals three consecutive years in the early ’50s. He also coached the team for two years in the early ’60s. He played in five NBA All-Star games, was voted to the All-BAA second team in 1948 and the All-NBA second team in 1954. He finished his career with a 13.5 points-per-game average, and was the Knicks’ all-time scoring leader when he retired (he’s now fifth on the list).

“If you don’t play this game with a big heart and a big bag o’ knuckles in front of the net, you don’t got dinky do.” Donnie Shulzhoffer (aka Mike Myers) in Mystery, Alaska

Some things just seem out of place or don’t go together, like the time Chris Drury hosted Soul Train for a year, and the Rangers playing a full 60 minutes, battling in front of the net and doing all the little things to win seems out of character for this year’s edition of the Rangers. But their rivalry with New Jersey seems to bring out the best in this team, so maybe if the Rangers played the Devils every game they would have a lot more “dinky do.” Or maybe they should just pretend every other team is the Devils.

Sure, it was near the end of the game on Saturday night, but at one point almost every player on the ice was piled up in a big heap in front of the Rangers’ net – including the Rangers! The Blueshirts’ defensemen usually don’t spend a lot of time in that area of the ice, and when they do, they mostly stick-check and politely ask how the wife and kids are doing. But against the Devils, they knock players over, cross-check them and clear the crease. Why can’t they do that every game? What’s so hard about that? If they pretend they’re playing the Devils every night, maybe that would change.

Henrik Lundqvist saves his best for the Devils. We’ve known that for a few years now, as he’s dominated the series rivalry. So if he’s on top of his game, as he was on Saturday, that’s a big boost and advantage for the team right there. And the offense has been throwing the puck to the net a lot more lately, and they’ve also been hitting and fighting more. In only three games with the Rangers, Brandon Prust (29 penalty minutes) has already made Donald Brashear irrelevant. He may be little, but he has a lot of heart. The two most fun things in hockey are shooting the puck and hitting the other guy. Why have those things seemed so hard for the Rangers this year? Again, if they pretend they’re playing the Devils every night, maybe that would change.

The Martin Brodeur/Sean Avery love-fest now has a new, added component: Ilya Kovalchuk. Apparently, Kovalchuk was defending his goalie’s honor when he speared and attacked Avery. Can’t they mike Avery for a game? How fun would that be? I wouldn’t let my five-year-old daughter within 500 feet of a TV, but still. Avery must have said something along the lines of Reg Dunlop calling Hanrahan’s wife a lesbian. Of course, the big winner in that brouhaha was the Rangers, as the Devils’ new left winger was sitting in the penalty box for the final flurry of the game. Avery’s gotten under Koavalchuk’s skin before, in the playoffs a few years ago, so now he has two people on the Devils that he can infuriate and get off their game.

So, come on Rangers, just pretend you’re playing the Devils every game, and you may finally find you have some “dinky do” after all.

We sports fans are a dramatic bunch when it comes to our teams – everything is life and death – but in real life we shrug sadness and tragedy off like it’s nothing. “My Uncle Maury died? What are ya gonna do? He had a good run. Can you pass the ketchup?” But if the team we root for goes into a slump or, God forbid, gets knocked out of the playoffs, we’re screaming, tears are falling like Niagara Falls and we’re pulling what’s left of our hair out. Think back to the 1994 Stanley Cup and tears of joy start falling. Think of the Wilpons or James Dolan owning your team, and tears of sadness reign down. And if you’re like me and Rip Torn, you’ll get so drunk you’ll mistakenly take a local bank for your house, break in and pass out as I did when the 2007 baseball season ended and the Mets pulled off the collapse hear round the world. I was in such bad shape that I was nearly fired from my job, my wife almost left me and even my daughter put herself up for adoption. We’ll even cry at the end of sports movies. Sure, the waterworks will be unstoppable during Brian’s Song (how can anyone not cry during that tear-fest?), but Dennis Quaid throws an inning for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays with every member of his hometown surprising him after the game, and I’m a quivering mess.

The local teams have been filled with ups and downs this week, which means tears, anger, happiness and hope. We cried when the Knicks blew a lead to the Timberwolves and laughed a giddy guffaw when the Rangers beat Colorado. But we cried again when the Blueshirts fell to LA. But we laughed once more when we saw pictures of Stephon Marbury sitting on a bench in China. There were more downs than ups, though, this week, but whatever the case may be, our emotions were running high one way or the other. But when our sweet, loving grandmother tripped over our retro John Gianelli Knicks jersey that was left in a heap on the floor, broke her hip and cried out for help, we shushed her and said, “Not now, Grandma, the game’s about to start.”

Here are the top stories in the world of New York sports this past week:

The $50,000 Finger: Just like Evel Knievel and Elvis Presley were the only two men on the face of the earth who could get away with wearing a cape, Rex Ryan is the only local coach who can give the finger to a group of his team’s rival fans and walk away unscathed with a “That’s just Rex being Rex” excuse. Well, he did get fined $50,000. And come to think of it, maybe I can see John Tortorella doing that. And Mike D’Antoni is pretty emotional. So maybe all the local coaches can get away with that. And it turns out an unruly fan goaded him into it by possibly spitting on him. But has Ryan already entered flakey, Manny Being Manny territory? Is he out of control and on a rampage or is it all part of his master plan to have everybody hate the Jets? Crazy? Or crazy genius?

Hello Olli: The Rangers didn’t so much as trade for Olli Jokinen as get rid of Ales Kotalik’s contract. Is Glen Sather actually going to admit to all his mistakes and start working on rectifying the mess he created? Earlier in the week, and for the first time ever, Chris Drury showed actual signs of a personality and humor while being interviewed between periods of Sunday’s game. I almost fell out of my chair, but then I found out he was just plugging his Connecticut pizzeria that will be opening soon. It figures he had an ulterior motive. He certainly doesn’t get that frisky talking about the Rangers. On the ice, Sunday vs. Colorado, Chad Johnson earned his first NHL win, and just like old times, Marian Gaborik did most of the scoring for the team this week until last night’s crazy, undisciplined goal-fest.

Hello Ilya: The Devils have been scoring about as much as their ancestors, the Kansas City Scouts, lately, and they’re 3-6-1 in their last 10 games, but yesterday’s blockbuster trade should help them out. They acquired Ilya Kovalchuk and Anssi Samlema from Atlanta for Johnny Oduya, Niclas Berfors, prospect Patrice Cormier and a first-round draft pick.

Hello Nate, Good-bye Del: The Knicks salvaged the week with a win against Washington on Wednesday. The energetic defense that proved so successful had disappeared for the Knicks, and with it went the winning. They even lost to lowly Minnesota. But when Al Harrington’s scoring off the bench returned, and with Nate Robinson replacing Chris Duhon, they may get back to winning again. As for their counterpart across the river, the losing is so bad the coaches aren’t getting fired, they’re quitting. Del Harris has left the Nets, but can you really blame him? If Kike Vandeweghe disappears, the players may have to get in a van and drive down to Houston to see if Kelly Leak’s father will coach them. The Nets are so bad, we may hear their fans start chanting, “Don’t let them play!”

Growing Pains: No, we’re not talking about Alan Thicke (though he is Canadian and can play hockey with the best of them). We’re referring to the young Islanders. They’ve have lost six games in a row now. John Tavares and Matt Moulson (though he scored last night) are struggling, Josh Bailey’s injured and Rick DiPietro is still trying to shake the rust off. They’re young, so bumps in the road are to be expected. And the bumps have arrived.

Giant Demands: Osi Umenyiora recently went on the radio and demanded to start next year or else he’d quit. On the day he was hired, new defensive coordinator Perry Fewell said that Osi would be starting again. How easy was that? With his demands met before he even uttered them, Umenyiora has now also insisted that that he be paid money for his services and that the team provide him with a uniform. Former Giant Plaxico Burress has stated that he’ll resume his playing career when he’s released from the slammer – that is if he doesn’t accidentally shiv himself in the leg.

Gone But Not Forgotten, Part One: Former Shea Stadium organist Jane Jarvis died this past week. She was 94. She played the organ at Mets games from 1964 to 1979. Not only did she play standards such as “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” but she mixed in the jazzy classics of Charlie Parker as well. Before joining the Mets, she was the organist for the Milwaukee Braves for eight years and was an accomplished jazz musician and also wrote Muzak. She was as much a part of Mets tradition as Kiner’s Korner, Mr. Met and Banner Day. And listening to her soothing yet groovy sound was much more preferable than the ear-splitting, blaring musical assault that goes on today.

Gone But Not Forgotten, Part Two: Mr. Knick Dick McGuire died on Wednesday. He was a player, coach, assistant coach and scout for the Knicks, spending 53 years with the team. Tricky Dick led the Knickerbockers to three straight finals in the early ’50s, played in five All-Star games while with the team and was second team All-NBA in 1951. His #15 has been retired by the team, and he’s third on the Knicks’ career assists list, with 2,950. He was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 1993. McGuire was unselfish on the court, and just as unselfish off it.

Gone But Not Forgotten, Part Three: Tom Brookshier died last week as well. He wasn’t really a New York guy (in fact, he played defensive back for the Eagles), but he was paired with Pat Summerall on many, many Giants games in the 1970s and early ’80s on CBS, making for one of the all-time great announcing duos (they also teamed up for many legendary drinking escapades in their time together with CBS). The two broadcast a handful of Super Bowls and hosted the classic highlight show This Week in Pro Football. Known for his wit and sense of humor, he was one of the best.